Archive for 'Hug'
I felt in LOVE with An Addict?
February 24th, 2010 by ilabuzz, under Hug, Love. No Comments
Aged 37, Azaam (not his real name) is currently working as one of the engineers in Oil and Gas Company. Can I blend past and present tense? I am not sure whether he’s FREE now or is it too early to claim that he’s SOBER hmmm….
There was an unfortunate time in his life when he was addicted to drugs and they became his companion as he struggled through a difficult period of his life. He has traveled a long and complex road in search of freedom and a life of abstinence. Here is Azam’s story (mampus aku kena saman).
Adulthood
Being abroad from his parents, brothers and sisters, life seemed quite normal. 8 of them in a family most are either working or studying abroad. However, with much difficulty Azaam admits that at the age of 25, he’s father had passed away. He, the eldest in the family felt so lost and lost thruout and he turned into live with this dark secret that tainted his life forever. From that day forward he chose to dissociate himself from life and his family, to run to a “safe” place within himself, a place where things felt ok.
The Beginning
At the age of 25, Azaam was introduced to marijuana or cannabis or “ganja”. His first encountered with the drug was with a group of friends whom he met up with after work. “To be honest, I felt nothing, but I felt ok with myself. It was the first time that I felt at home with myself,” admits Azaam. Not to mention 2 years after that he got married. Since then he took it daily and as much as he wanted with cigarettes.
By the way, not only him but this was a cousins and friends affairs. For about six months initial stage, he managed to hide it from his family, but eventually they came to know what was happening. Azaam admits that he knew he had a problem, but figured he could overcome it alone and sooner. His family found it difficult to come to terms with his problem esp his mum. Mum used to say, “You were not my son anymore if you keep on taking it.” But mum being a mum… sigh!!!
The Road to Recovery
“I was always able to manipulate people to get the result I wanted,” said Azaam. There came a point when he realized that he wanted to make a change in his life. This time he wanted that change to be for himself, not for his family or anyone else not even for me as what he said.
“I remember my mum and I went for an evaluation, in which the doctor did a urine test for me. I would never forget the way my mum looked at me, and I could not shed a tear,” he added. My blood test also became thicker and thicker compared to normal people’s.
“They say when you do drugs, from the first hit you close a door in your mind, and open a new one. This is entirely true,” said Azaam.
Azaam has to be on the road to recovery. He is at a crossroad now; he can either continue using drugs to the point of death, which was his goal then, or he could clean up, but this time without rehab. First is to ADMIT! Then, the actual self-REHAB!
Azaam said, “The last 7 days have taken me through every emotion, and feeling. The days don’t get any easier, and life doesn’t cut you any breaks. I’ve had to relearn basic skills, such as how to deal with a basic situation. I am with very bad cold, flu and everything else you can name it! I had nose blooding last 2 days but hell not because of IT! And you know that right.”
A Word of Possible Advice
He commented, “Everything happens for a reason in life. It’s all about how you look at it. Remember that whatever you do, you are not the first to have done it and won’t be the last.”
He continued, “I know it’s not easy to stop using drugs, and the craving doesn’t ever go away, but when you are willing to make that change, trust me, the universe will work in your favor, and you will be guided. Now that I look back on what has happened, I realize that all this has brought me to where I am.” Azaam’s greatest support during this time is faith in Almighty Allah.
Choices – If it really happens to him, InsyaAllah
They say for an addict there are only three choices in active addiction: out of job, institutions and death. He shall not be very close to any of them!
It is with much courage that Azaam has faced his problems and is determined to make a positive, lasting change in his life. I pray that Almighty Allah will guide him, grant him ease in his endeavors, everlasting success and keep him firm on the straight path.
Finally, I hope that the story of Azaam will be an example for others who are going through a similar situation. I hope they can be inspired by this story and take the first step towards recovery. But it just a beginning of 7 days. I trusted him that he’s not even near to IT anymore. Shall wait until it reaches 21 days maybe?
P/S: There are a few things that I have learnt: you have to have faith in your higher power, and you have to be honest, and willing to change. You need to develop an emotional dependency on drugs, and you use them no matter what you felt. Drugs have used to help you to get away from reality. You used them because you wanted to, and you didn’t know any other way of being. I just dont want anyone to suffer… anyone in this world ;( Please get to the road of recovery and self freedom!
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Secret of a Happy Married Life (Hilarious)
February 22nd, 2010 by marcell, under Hug, Kiss, Love. No Comments
I received a joke from my friend. I’d like to share with you and it is very hilarious. I don’t know whether you agree with this secret or not.
Once I was asked by my Friend, “What is the secret behind your happy married life?”
I said, “You should share responsibilities with due love and Respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems.”
He asked, “Can you explain?”
I said, “In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other’s decisions.”
Still not convinced, Friend asked me “Give me some examples”
I said, “Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it”
He asked, “Then what is your role?”
I said, “My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire, etc etc and Do you know one thing, My wife NEVER, EVER objects to any of these decisions
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APa APa Aje…
February 19th, 2010 by ilabuzz, under Hug. No Comments
Can I just have a relationship with my Blackberry and making love with my Facebook?
I am just sick and tired of actual human or man in particular. I shall run away far from man. Listening to people’s issues are my bedtime stories. I just love it! But I have to control myself not to fall into any of them 
Everybody has their own little vice. Maybe it is a chocolate, maybe it is an ice cream. It could even be your other half! Good for you if you are craving for your other half! Thus to make oneself happy, one needs to look at things that he/she can control for that happiness.
My work mate today just bought a personalized ceramic mug, a big mug for her self satisfaction. Just because she loves mug. Make sure you are the envy in the office with this amazing personalized ceramic mug, I told her. Whatever you love in this world make sure you let people know about it; and when it comes to your mid morning brew. It might even help to lift your mood esp. when my friend tell me about the ceramic mug she bought. I can just feel her happiness and satisfaction.
P/S: Go on. Make yourself smile first before you make a smile on others Sometimes we have to be selfish to resolve our own issues first before we move on into others…
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Cinta Agung – Majestic Love?
February 10th, 2010 by ilabuzz, under Hug, Love. No Comments
My apology that I dont want to get dirty today. Can I?
Taken from my fren’s note in Facebook. Thanks Aina…
Aina started to write and her pen started to mingle around that piece of paper. Then the pen and the paper started to make love
It was a sad news.
The whole family perished in a car accident. The car was wrecked and burnt until nothing of it was left. Including the 6 – husband, wife, and 4 kids aged between 11 and 2. They were on the way home from a vacation.
I try to put myself in their situation. Knowing those moments would be the last that you’ll ever have with the children. Knowing that the next day, you are just history and memories, nothing more than pictures kept in drawers and shoeboxes.
It must be painful, but it may also be a relief knowing that the children will not grow up missing the love of their parents.
I don’t know. I can never imagine.
But reading that news also got me thinking, there must be such thing as love made in heaven. The kind of love that binds a man and a woman, so strong that they would die with each other. Not for, but with.
Cinta agung, a wise friend calls it.
That same friend asked me once if cinta agung would still exist on this earth till she dies.
I told her it still would, only it may never hit neither she nor me.
Which reminds me of a man whose wife succumbed to the cruelty of the big C. She was his first love from the moment he laid eyes on her. She became the pivotal point in his life, everything about him was around her. When they got to know of her illness, it was too late to do anything. But her breath was his life. For the few years that she beared the pain, were the years that he too was hurt silently. When she could no longer get up from her bed, it was him who bathed her, fed her, changed her. He made her beautiful for their small children to remember how the mother looked like when she was alive. Even at the point when she was weak, she was his strength. She was his everything.
The night that she left in her sleep was the night the world fell upon him. The children were still small, his life was gone. He had no strength to move on, not even for himself. When she died, he died too… soul, life and love.
*sigh*
Cinta agung? Maybe it was.
Thanks so much for the sharing Aina. Today our blog is NOT rated XXX… So you can let your kids to read this one
P/S: I have to cry and I am tearing to bed, I guess ;’(
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Cerita Siput… The Snail Story ;)
January 29th, 2010 by ilabuzz, under Hug. No Comments
P/S: Love u all… Happy weekend!
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Forgive Me
January 27th, 2010 by ilabuzz, under Hug. No Comments
Me these days become a big fan of LL…
There’s a first time for everything
It’s definitely one of them nights
I knew when I looked in his eyes
That he was gonna be trouble for me
I never wanted to lie
I knew that my baby would cry
If he knew what we were doing
But if his love don’t pass the test
I gotta get it from somewhere else
When I’m gone and I need a man
Hope he understands
Forgive me baby
I gotta take a chance tonight
So I’m doing me, myself and I
Can wait no more
Sitting all alone
Man, I really hope
Hope you forgive me
Oh oh
Hope you forgive me
Oh oh
Hope you forgive me
Oh oh
I can wait no more
Man, I really hope
Hope you forgive me
Been a long time since I
Did something good for myself
But why should I be put through hell?
He’s doing what he wanna do
I finally found somebody else
Who really wants to make me feel
Things that I’ve been missing so long
And his love always passed the test
It’s a shame I had to look somewhere else
When I’m gone and I need a man
I just hope that he understands
Forgive me baby
I gotta take a chance tonight
So I’m doing me, myself and I
Can wait no more
Sitting all alone
Man, I really hope
Hope you forgive me
Oh oh
Hope you forgive me
Oh oh
Hope you forgive me
Oh oh
I can wait no more
Man, I really hope
Hope you forgive me
Forgive me but I need to be loved too
Forgive me but I can’t wait around for you
Forgive me if I found a man
Who understands just what I need
Forgive me but I need to be loved too
Forgive me if I can’t wait around for you
Forgive me if I found a man who understands
Forgive me baby
I gotta take a chance tonight
So I’m doing me, myself and I
Can wait no more
Sitting all alone
Man, I really hope
Hope you forgive me
Oh oh
Hope you forgive me
Oh oh
Hope you forgive me
Oh oh
I can wait no more
Man, I really hope
Hope you forgive me
I gotta take a chance tonight
So I’m doing me, myself and I
Can wait no more
Sitting all alone
Man, I really hope
Hope you forgive me
Thanks Leona Lewis!
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Kids N Divorce
January 22nd, 2010 by ilabuzz, under Hug, Kiss, Love. 1 Comment
Being a single parent is not easy. That much I can tell. And it becomes more challenging when you have kids in between. You just have to deal with your Ex till death do us part. That is how tough it is. To hurt your kids in any way is the last thing that you want to do. Thus, last night, I just went thru some readings that I like to share with you all on this portion.
When parents decide to divorce, they typically have been through a series of events that have led them to this decision. Whether or not children are aware of parents’ decisions depends on many things, including parents’ behaviors and children’s experiences. In some families, husbands and wives may argue frequently in front of the children, leaving children to suspect that something is going on. In other families, parents may talk quietly about their differences without the children ever knowing. And in other families, parents may argue sometimes and quietly handle their differences at other times. Regardless of the type of adult arguments and interactions that children experience, when parents decide to divorce, children need to know.
Children’s reactions to parental divorce are related to how parents inform them of their decision. Because of this, it is important for parents to think carefully about how they will tell their children and what they will tell them. When possible, the entire family should meet together so that both parents can answer children’s questions.
What to tell children
Remember that divorce is confusing for children. When you first talk with children, limit your discussion to the most important and most immediate issues; children can become confused if they are given too much information at once. Children need to hear that their basic needs will be met, that someone will still fix breakfast in the morning, help them with their homework, and tuck them into bed at night. Children also need to know that their relationship with BOTH parents will continue, if possible. In the face of so many changes, children also need to hear what will remain the same. Parents can reassure their children through words and actions that their love will continue despite the changes in routine family life.
During these family discussions, it is important for parents to tell children that the divorce is final and avoid giving children false hopes that the parents will reunite. Parents can also use this time to tell children that the divorce is not their fault. Many children believe that the divorce is a result of something that they did. Even younger children who seem to have no understanding of what is going on may need extra reassurance during this time. For instance, when asked why parents divorce, some children may explain that parents are divorcing because the children misbehaved or received bad grades in school. Children need repeated reassurance from parents that they are not responsible for the divorce.
Remember to ask children about their fears and concerns. Give children time to think about the divorce and the changes ahead. Meet again as a family to talk about new questions and to reassure children of your ongoing involvement in their lives.
Take your children’s questions and concerns seriously and LISTEN to what they say. As stated by one child, “this is gonna affect the rest of my life and I don’t know if they just don’t realize that, or don’t care, or what, but I don’t feel like I’m being heard.”
Children need to know that parents recognize the impact of divorce on children’s lives. By listening to children’s thoughts and feelings about the divorce, parents demonstrate their ongoing care and concern.
Realize that feelings of loss and anger are typical. You can’t change your child’s feelings, but it is important to let your child know you understand them. For example, “I know you must be really sad that you can’t see your dad today.”
What I need from my mom and dad:
* I need both of you to stay involved in my life. Even if you don’t live close by, please write letters, make phone calls, and ask me lots of questions about who I spend time with and what I like and don’t like to do. When you don’t stay involved in my life, I feel like I’m not important and that you don’t really love me.
* Please stop fighting and work hard to get along with each other. Try to agree on matters related to me and my needs. When you fight about me, I think that I did something wrong and I feel guilty.
* I want to love you both and enjoy the time that I spend with each of you. Please support me and the time that I spend with each of you. If you act jealous or upset, I feel like I need to take sides and love one parent more than the other.
* Please communicate directly with my other parent so that I don’t have to send messages back and forth. I want you to talk with each other so that the messages are communicated the right way and so that I don’t feel like I am going to mess up.
* When talking about my other parent, please say only nice things, or don’t say anything at all. When you say mean, unkind things about my other parent, I feel like you are putting me down and expecting me to take your side.
* Please remember that I want both of you to be a part of my life. I count on my mom and dad to raise me, to teach me what is important, and to help me when I have problems.
Kids Understandings
* Recognize that one parent no longer lives at home.
* May express empathy toward others, such as a parent who is feeling sad.
Feelings
* May have difficulty separating from parents.
* May express anger toward parent.
* May lose some of the skills they have developed, like toilet training.
* Toddlers may show some of the behaviors that they outgrew, such as thumbsucking.
* Sleeping and naptime routines may change.
* Older toddlers may have nightmares.
What parents can do…
* Spend more time with children when preparing to separate (e.g., arrive 10 to 15 minutes earlier than usual when you take your child to child care).
* Provide physical and verbal reassurance of your love.
* Show understanding of child’s distress; recognize that, given time and support, old behaviors (thumbsucking) will disappear and newly developed skills (toilet training) will reappear.
* Talk with other important adults and caregivers about how to support your child during this transition time.
The reading is quite long until preschoolers and teens… Maybe I will share about that on my later life having both of them growing up.
To the love of my life: Danish and Arissa. Love you ALWAYS and FOREVER!
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RESPECT!
January 20th, 2010 by ilabuzz, under Hug. No Comments
Being in a good relationship means you don’t have to agree on everything, such as liking all of each other’s friends and interests, but it does mean respecting each other’s opinion and behaving well towards each other’s friends and family. It’s being able to sort out differences about things and friends that are important to you.
A good relationship has an established pattern of listening to each other and working through differences in very practical ways. For example, if you want to go shopping with your friends on Saturdays, your boyfriend is able to do something he likes that you’re not so keen on, such as jamming with friends.
People are willing to change in good relationships. Some young men have some ideas about being entitled to some things that women aren’t. Respectful men will change when you point out something is not fair and is causing you problems.
(If you find that you are having to repeat yourself frequently and no long term change is happening, you may be in an unfair relationship)
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Trust & respect
January 18th, 2010 by marcell, under Hug, Love. No Comments
How are you there? I hope you are in a good shape. Now, we are stepping in 2010 and I bet some of you have a list of this year resolution. My advice is write it down and stick at any visible place that you can see it everyday. Back to today’s’ topic, trust and respect.
This topic was discussed out during my meeting up with a group of friends. We were chatting about marriage life. A lot of questions were brought up but there was a particular question that made our conversation became very hot.
The question: “What are the main factors to build up the relationship in marriage life?”
One of them answered: “Trust & respect”. She further explained on these two factors.
” Trust, it is the main essence and with that, it act as a foundation in the relationship. That should be the starting point to build the relationship. No point of having relationship, if you don’t trust each other.
Then, respect. Having relationship doesn’t mean you have to obstruct freedom of each other. Respect on their decision. Respect on their freedom. In relationship, we need our own space. Yup, space to breath. Space to move around. Space to relax the mind.”
I tend to agree with her opinion. Yup, indeed that it is really make a lot of sense.
So, nuture your relationship wth trust and respect
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What should I do to marry a rich guy?
January 15th, 2010 by ilabuzz, under Hug. No Comments
This is an interesting situation of a 25 year old girl (presumably beautiful) seeking to get married to a man whose annual income exceeds US$500K…..Amuse yourself to see how tactfully the CEO of J.P. Morgan replied her
> A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
>
> Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
> I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here.
>
>
>
> I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k
> annual salary or above. You might say that I’m
> greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
> My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who
> has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
>
>
>
> I wanted to ask: What should I do to marry rich persons like you?
>
>
>
> Among those I’ve dated, the richest is
> $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my
> upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area
> on the west of New York City Garden (?), $250k annual income is not enough.
>
>
> I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:
>
> 1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the
> names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
>
> 2) Which age group should I target?
>
> 3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking?
> I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting,
> but they are able to marry rich guys.
>
> 4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your
> girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
>
>
> Ms. Pretty
>
>
>
> An awesome reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:
>
>
> Dear Ms. Pretty,
>
>
> I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there
> who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze
> your situation as a professional investor. My annual
> income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope
> everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here. From the standpoint
> of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.
>
>
> The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
>
>
> Put the details aside, what you ‘ re trying
> to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money” :
> Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
>
>
> However, there’s a deadly problem here,
> your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone
> without any good
> reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you
> can ‘ t be prettier year
> after year. Hence from the viewpoint of
> economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It ‘ s
> not just normal depreciation, but
> exponential depreciation. If that is your only
> asset, your value will be
> much worse 10 years later.
>
>
>
> By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a
> position, dating with you is also a “trading position”.
>
>
>
> If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good
> idea to keep it
> for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be
> cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision
> any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”.
>
> Anyone with over $500k annual
> income is not a fool; we would only date you, but
> will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any
> clues to marry a rich guy.
>
>
> And by the way, you could make
> yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual
> income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
>
> Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in “leasing” services, do contact me.
>
> Signed,
>
> J.P.
> Morgan CEO
