Archive for 'Hate'
Living with drug addict…
February 17th, 2010 by ilabuzz, under Hate. No Comments
Over last few days, it was a Chinese New Year celebration in Malaysia. Enjoyed that very long holidays and weekends.
Was a bit disturb on a few phone calls thruout. He is a drug addict, on marijuana for at least 13 years. Nobody knows and not even me. I congrats him for telling the truth… Work stress these days have made many professional people take marijuana. Believe me and I have tons of name and majority of them are doctors and engineers.
Substance abuse is as simple as “Dont you ever try it. You will end up in a mess.”
I can sense that for him to change and come clean will be very difficult. The only persons any of us ever actually can hope to change are ourselves. If there is a change, relationships with other people will, with all certainty, also change. To change means that you will experience something new, different and unknown. Because of that we all are afraid of changes in some degree. If you accept the condition that the only person in the problematic relation that you can change is you, and if you are willing to actually make an effort in order to change, you have the power to change the direction of your life radically. I am coming on different angle now to those who are with an addicted person. The following six stages are fundamental when you want to liberate yourself from the destructive aspects of living with an addictive person:
1. Stop taking responsibility for what your addictive relative or friend does.As long as you make it easy in an irresponsible manner, through covering up the tracks and carrying out his/her duties, you cannot begin to grow and change the way you want to.
2. Stop letting yourself be abused, both physically and mentally, by your addicted friend or partner. To let yourself be abused means that you strengthen the feeling of indignation, but it also brings insufficient personal strength, dignity and self-respect. Therefore, it is time for you to stop being a punchbag. Each time the addict tries to abuse you, you must act, in one way or another, to prevent this abuse (even if it means that you have to go to the police or stay out of those situations).
3. Get a life outside the addictive relationship. You need to break free from the isolation that the addict has put you in. In order to feel better – do interesting things, have fun – try to change despite the fact that you’ve chosen to continue living with marijuana – you have to live your life in another way. Do things together with others or on your own.
4. Find and preserve new relationships. Closely related to stage three is the requirement that you begin to develop new relationships. This can be particularly difficult since it requires that you take initiatives on your own. You must meet and get to know new people. You probably also will be forced to re-evaluate your bonds with old friends, relatives and family. Organizations can be an excellent starting point in your search for new friends who are willing to share their strength, their understanding and their sympathy.
5. Improve your physical shape. Constructive change must include protecting your physical health and well-being. That means, among other things, diet, exercise and hygiene.
6. Make changes every day. It is important that you work with the five previous stages every day in order to get any results. It will take time and energy, but it’s worth it in the long run.
P/S: Tell me when you are free from that substance abuse and I am willing to help in any way I cant. Just dont fall in love with ME!
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Is saving a relationship worth it?
December 14th, 2009 by marcell, under Hate, Kiss, Love. No Comments
Last night before I went to bed, I saw a note posted by my friend. It is about saving a relationship. Actually the article is written by a lady named Carol. It is good idea to share this article because there are lot of useful information. Some of it really makes me think deeply about it.
Here is what Carol thought about the relationship and she brought interesting question; “Is saving a relationship worth it?”
Every relationship goes through struggles but after you have been fighting for a long time to keep it alive you may ask if saving a relationship like this really worth it. You may have gone to marriage counseling and sought ways to bring back the love. You will have worked only to find that you would again start having intimacy problems of some kind. You may have experienced struggles in your dating life. You ask around for dating tips or advice and have been given some good suggestions only to find that the troubles are still there.
The struggles continue but there are some things you should think about to see if saving a relationship like the one you are in is worth the challenge. If you are thinking about getting a divorce or separating, you need to look at these things honestly and maybe get some serious relationship advice. Saving a relationship is an important thing to try and accomplish and will take a lot of work. It can also be frustrating work if the relationships not really there.
Write a list of the people you most enjoy spending time with. Is your spouse or partner on that list? Do you really enjoy spending time together? When was the last time you went out and just had fun? Is it possible for the two of you to do that? Are you content just being with them? A good relationship between two people is going to be one where they can enjoy being together or can feel content just having the person there.
Another very important thing to consider when you are deciding if this relationship is worth saving is do they make you feel like you are understood. Do you listen to your spouse? Do you feel like you are being listened to and that they understand you? Spend some time and try to see if they do.
A relationship is supposed to be a place where you can go when you need comforted. Is the relationship one that makes you feel comfort when you have gone through something bad? Is the relationship something that you constantly need comforted about? If you are looking elsewhere for comfort, there may be a problem.
If there are questions about faithfulness or infidelity, they need to be addressed. Are you able to trust them? Are they able to trust you? If you have a problem answering either one of those questions affirmatively, then you may either need some serious marriage counseling or couple’s therapy.
In saving a relationship, there are many other things to consider and a decision like this should not be taken lightly. Ask hard questions and search hard for answers and then you may be able to find if saving a relationship like the one you are in is worth it.
P.S: Thanks Widea for sharing this article.
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Tiger-ious
December 9th, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Hate. No Comments
Damn! Dont know what to write… Read a lot about Tiger Woods lately on his affairs! Do I have to care about that… of course hell no!… why should I? But he used to be among my good list as perfect husbands last time. Now, not anymore folks! But I am a forgiving person.. hahaha 
This fellow, Ian on the Red Dot has the funniest insight about the affairs. Read on…
Tiger Woods had suffered a career-ending injury and for some reasons lost all his wealth?
The wife would have made for the exit faster than a certain former US President can unzip his pants in front of hot interns.
*Sidenote:
Yeah, I’m sure someone will say that there is this X guy who is famous, powerful and has lots of money who doesn’t/didn’t cheat on his partner. One of these below statements will be true:
1. He has been brought up with a weak conscience. One that gets guilty easily.
Internal monologue for most of these men:
“Oh, no, if I cheat on my wife, I’LL be SUCH A BAD PERSON.“
Notice the operative noun. It is self-centeredness, just expressed internally, instead of externally in the form of banging another girl.
But, wait, you say, some of these internal monologues have this line:
“If I cheat on my wife, if she finds out, she will be hurt.
“If she finds out…” The guy should only get any form of credit if the sentence was just “If I cheat on my wife, she will be hurt.”
Usually the above sentence is followed by,
“I can’t afford to lose her. She means so much to me.”
or
“If I cheat on her, I’ll be letting myself down, because I’ve failed the standards and morals I hold dear.
Again, it is about the self.
Always, about the self. It is just that people have different conditions on what hurts the self more. Depriving the little brother one night snuggled in a different hole, or …
2. His wife is the best thing his fame, power and money can buy, maybe even better than what he should be able to get. It is a ‘character’ play and the woman accepts him because of his ‘faithfulness’ and ‘love’.
Why do you think David Beckham only started cheating later in his career and marriage? Well, that’s because that was when he superseded Victoria of Spice Girls fame.
3. He hasn’t been caught.
P/S: Anyways everyone cheats. You just have to be ready to get the news that someone you love and care cheat on you. On your mark …
Get set… GO!
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Is it loneliness is contagious?
December 7th, 2009 by marcell, under Hate, Love. 4 Comments
Last weekend, I went to recreation park near my house for my routine exercise. While I jogged around the park, I saw few people sitting alone. Most of the time, the same group of people. They are around mid 30 to mid 40. Wondering to myself; “are they truly lonely or simply want to rest their mind?” Only God know about it. But it really struck me a question inside my mind: “Is it good to be lonely? Is it bad? Why need to be lonely?” The questions continue to wonder me until I read an article appeared in our local newspapers. Some more it appeared at the front page. The writer wrote the headline: “Loneliness is contagious, says research.”
Here is the article:
“Loneliness, like the flu, is contagious, US research shows. It can spread among groups of people and women are more likely than men to become “infected”, according to researchers at the University of Chicago, the University of California-San Diego and Harvard.
Using data from a large-scale study, they found lonely people tend to transmit their sad feelings to those around them, which eventually led to them being isolated from society.
“We detected an extraordinary pattern of contagion that leads people to be moved to the edge of the social network when they become lonely,” said University of Chicago psychologist John Cacioppo, a leading US expert on loneliness. The findings were published in the December issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Before losing their friends, lonely people transmit feelings of loneliness to their remaining friends, who also become lonely. “On the periphery people have fewer friends, yet their loneliness leads them to lose the few ties they have left,” Cacioppo said. “These reinforcing effects mean that our social fabric can fray at the edges, like a yarn that comes loose at the end of a crocheted sweater,” he said.
Because loneliness is associated with mental and physical diseases that can shorten life, he said it is important for people to recognise loneliness and help those affected before they move away to the edges.
For the study, the team examined records of the Framingham Heart Study, which originally studied the risks of cardiovascular disease for more than 5,000 people since 1948. The study has since been expanded, and its second generation, which includes another 5,124 people, was the focus of the loneliness research. The study showed that as people become lonely, they become less trustful of others, and a cycle develops that makes it harder for them to form friendships. Societies seem to develop a natural tendency to shed these lonely people. – Reuters
The first phrase: Loneliness, like a flu, is contagious. Gosh, it sounds so outrageous and scary too. It seems to be lonely can cause you much trouble. Looking back this article, it said,” the more lonely you are, the more shorter your life.” Gulp. This is even worst than flu. It is like a cancer, slowly taking away the person’s life.
The underlying question; “What are the main issue or root cause of lonely?” I believe there is must be something to trigger them to be in that stage. Based from my experience, it always related to something happens in the past.
Surely you’ll shoot a question; “What do mean something happens in the past?”. Ok, let me share a story. A sad story. So, prepare your tissue paper in just case you feel something in your eyes later on.
There is a guy. He is married with a very beautiful woman. Really a gorgeous woman and he loves her so much. Some more, this woman is his first love. All things run so well in their life. Both of them have a good job and even a lovely twin daughters. But one day, suddenly his wife passed out inside the washroom. He immediately brought his wife to hospital and finally he found out the wife is having congenital heart problem, a rare type. The doctor told him; “The only treatment is to have a heart transplant.” The world was so wonderful last time, suddenly become gloomy. The wife passed away after 3 months had been diagnosed with congenital heart disease. Until now, this guy never married again and prefer to be lonely. He said; “The only person in my life is my lovely wife. Now, she gone. No one will ever ever ever replace her. I love her so much.”
Truly a sad story and I really pity this guy. I can’t imaging if it is really happening to us. Touchwood….I don’t know how on earth I’ll ever get through it.
Back to the article, one last point I want to stress out. Lonely people seem to be isolated from society. This makes the situation become even worst. Loneliness is not happening only in one group of people. Children, teenagers, adult and even the common one old folks.
How to cure this loneliness? The answer lie to both the lonely person and society too.Both parties should play a role. First of foremost, the lonely person should move out from their quiet environment. Make friends , join any group or activities. Live to the fullest. As a society, you and me. Accept them, cheer them up, talk to them, encourage them.
So, Christmas is around the corner. If you have lonely friend, do invite them for Christmas dinner. I bet they will feel much happy.
P.S: By the way, do watch this movie ” Christmas carol” written by Charles Dickens. It is about loneliness.
Short synopsis: Ebenezer Scrooge, a bitter and miserly old moneylender, holds everything that embodies the joys and spirit of Christmas in contempt, keeping to himself and being nasty to people. I put up the movie trailer about this movie
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MAD
November 11th, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Hate. No Comments
I always get caught up with lyrics and music so to speak.
I feel that some of the lyrics are well written and have a story line that we can connect to our lives.
My especially for this one: Mad by NE-YO really triggers me about life as much as all of us are!
It says when we are fighting neither of us is listening! Just read it between the lines and you know what I mean
Mad
She’s starin’ at me
I’m sittin’ wonderin’ what she’s thinkin’
Nobody’s talkin’ ’cause talkin’ just turns into screamin’
And now it’s I’m yellin’ over her, she yellin’ over me
All that that means is neither of us is listening
And what’s even worse?
That we don’t even remember why we’re fighting
So both of us are mad for
Nothing, fighting for
Nothin’, crying for
Nothing, whoa
But we won’t let it go for
Nothing, no not for
Nothing, this should be
Nothing to a love like what we got
Oh baby, I know sometimes it gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
‘Cause I can’t sleep through the pain
Can’t sleep through the pain
Girl, I don’t wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don’t want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don’t wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don’t want you to go to bed mad at me
Oh no no no
And it gets me upset
Girl when you’re constantly accusing
Askin’ questions like you already know
We’re fighting this war
Baby when both of us are losing
This ain’t the way that love is supposed to go
Whoa, what happened to workin’ it out?
We’ve fall into this place
Where you ain’t backin’ down and I ain’t backin’ down
So what the hell do we do now?
It’s all for
Nothing, fighting for
Nothing, crying for
Nothing, whoa
But we won’t let it go for
Nothing, no not for
Nothing, this should be
Nothing to a love like what we got
Oh baby, I know sometimes it’s gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
‘Cause I can’t sleep through the pain
Can’t sleep through the pain
Girl, I don’t wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don’t want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don’t wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don’t want you to go to bed mad at me
Oh no no no
Oh, baby this love ain’t gonna be perfect
Perfect, perfect, oh oh
And just how good it’s gonna be
We can fuss and we can fight
Long as everything’s all right between us
Before we go to sleep
Baby, we’re gonna be happy, oh
Baby, I know sometimes it’s gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
‘Cause I can’t sleep through the pain
Can’t sleep through the pain
Girl, I don’t wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don’t want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don’t wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don’t want you to go to bed mad at me
Oh no no no
P/S: It’s simply about life and the story line is as simple as it can be! Till then take care…
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MANY in ANY?
November 4th, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Hate, Love. No Comments
I felt not so in love today. My notebook is down and hang. DAMN! Actually folks, it was since yesterday!
Carnation
I felt that life is to be lived in many scenarios. Hear this, heard that haaaa…
One of that dramas of course how much love is LOVE? Of course love is an easy word to say but not to act upon. You think so. That is because love is so very much abstract. See my grammar haha… What is it exactly? And how does one differentiate between familial love and romantic love? I can tell the difference, can you? That is why one spends a lot of time with their significant others before they can admit to themselves (and the other person) that they ‘love em’. Generally, you don’t know if you love someone until you spend time with them and both of us, ehem… I mean both of you have many experiences together and bond as a couple. If someone says they ‘love’ you but don’t show it in their actions, don’t waste your time. I think we better say “move on, folks!” and find someone worth sharing your time with. AGAIN, worth sharing your time… See my word “sharing” and not “spending” 
One of another drama… I met this guy online the other day who seems to be really down to earth and different from anyone else I’ve met. Yee laaa tuh… means you’re right At first, we were constantly emailing each other and texting or smsing. We hit it off really well. Then, all of a sudden, he kind of disappeared and silent. The last time I talked to him I tried chatting with him online but didn’t want to make it as if my life revolved around him. I didn’t get much of a response from him though. Now it’s been about 2 days since I’ve spoken to him because I figured I’d given him his space but I still haven’t hear from him. We were supposed to set up a time to meet again this week. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe laa he’s been busy or something. I don’t want to text or email him and make him think I’m desperate. So, what I can say is just back off, if he’s interested in you, he will let you know. If you do still want to pursue him, I would suggest not rage emailing him over and over again, play it cool and must be viewed as EXPENSIVE
Should I share with you one more drama? It was not really a drama. I rather want to inform that I enjoyed my every second of Time Traveller’s Wife. Not that it was a GREAT movie but I just love it. I felt so connected with the characters and I cried my tears every time. I can felt the love between them. Awesome right if you just be with someone who is looking for you all their lives even for a short period of time you manage to live with them
This sharing today I best dedicated to my notebook/ my storm berry / my car and all the hardcore readers. We know who you are. and please share your nasty comments with us so that we can move on… with our writing and sharing too
P/S: We love you!
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EmPTiNesS…
October 23rd, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Hate. No Comments
Slipping into emptiness
Was thinking and thinking on what to share for the day. Saw a few of statuses in the facebook last couple of days as feeling of emptiness…
EMPTY / BLANK / LONELY bla bla bla…
Today receive an Inbox message a poem without a tittle. Thus, let me give it a title : EmPTiNesS 
Love has once again betrayed me and
The stars come crashing from the sky shattered.
And another piece of my lonely hearts cast among the ashes
Crumpled and decayed in the cold dust.
Moments of love between ions of stillness
My shadow stalked by madness.
Crying emptiness brushes my soul land
Uncontrollable longings scream deep within my spirit
Chill dawn winds eddy around me like gray soulless wolves.
A deadly silence fills my empty dreams
Stalking about the room like shadows chased from the fire
A touch on my arm draws me out of my restlessness.
Fragments of promising eyes drift across my soul
And a crystal glitter of stars flung across a darkened sky
Igniting my passions once again.
My hunger unshielded
I must eternally dance to this cruel game.
STOP!
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Love you… hate you… then love you AGAIN
September 30th, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Hate, Love. No Comments
Love & hatred
Good morning World. How is everyone doing? I am very happy today to dream of this topic to share with you folks.
Have you come across a love hate relationship. At one point or another, I think all of us have. It can be to your loved ones which is obviously a human or to an object like FB for example… hehe But my sharing of course about a love-hate relationship on us, human which involves feelings.
Love occurs when the feelings of intimacy is too strong for not having the other person around you to spending time together. It is too strong feelings of affection and attachment. I love you as in too much or so much that I can’t live without you…HELLO
Hatred on the other hand, often occurs when these two above people have completely lost that intimacy within a loving relationship, YET still retain some passion for or perhaps some commitment to each other. I hate you but I still need you in my life… hah? Sounds familiar right?
Then, what should we do if we are in this relationship? My view is we should just let the hate go away and concentrate on the love part. And let me tell you that the two people in such a relationship are most of the time totally incompatible. But believe that they are both with the best person for themselves that they are going to get… What a life right!
We might not want or being addicted to this love-hate relationship. But, sometimes it is fun when you think of it. Most of the time it is either make you laugh or make you realize that this is a waste to fully enjoy life!
P/S: My hate and my love for you are infinite… :O Talk to you soon!
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Diary-a secret life file
September 28th, 2009 by marcell, under Hate, Hug, Kiss, Love, Lust. No Comments
Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
Today I saw a boy and I wondered if he noticed me,
he took my breath away.
Dear Diary,
I can’t get him off my mind
and it scares me ’cause I’ve never felt this way.
No one in this world knows me better than you do,
so diary I’ll confide in you.
Dear Diary,
Today I saw that boy as he walked by I thought he smiled at me,
and I wondered
does he know what’s in my heart?
I tried to smile, but I could hardly breathe.
Should I tell him how I feel
or would that scare him away?
Diary, tell me what to do,
please tell me what to say.
Dear Diary,
One touch of his hand,
now I can’t wait to see that boy again.
He smiled,
and I thought my heart could fly.
Diary, do you think that we’ll be more than friends?
yeahea yeahea yea oh
I’ve got feeling we’ll be so much more.. than friends.
ooh.. yea yea yea
Don’t get my wrong. It is not written by me. Well, it is a piece of song by Britney Spears. It might what she wrote on her own diary. Who know.
Diary, sound very familiar to you?. I’m talking about your personal diary. I bet you do have it before. Why do need a diary?
Here is what Pink said.
“Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
‘Cause you’re the only one that I know who’ll keep Them
Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
I know you’ll keep them, and this is what I’ve Done”
So, clear enough that diary is your personal secret file. A file which mostly contain more on relationship story, relationship problem, love, hate, kiss, hug, and even lust stories. A file contains secret of your life.
Diary where a person voice out her or his feeling. Diary is a place to voice their concern or needs. Sometime, diary will keep the most important evidence because I came across before it.
A friend of mine dropped his diary and I found it. People always say, don’t ever ever read other people stuff. Yup, at first I don’t want to read it. But the diary was opened and shown the pages that caught my eye site. Sorry , I can’t elabotate further because it cause me a big trouble later on. Why? This was happen 10 years ago. So, just keep it as secret and mystery to you.
Diary used to be written in a special book. I think some still keep it that way. But with modern technology, you can write your diary anywhere. However, there is a risk of information leak compare the one written in a book.
Do we really need a diary?
Well, it is up to us. The choice is your hand. The most important how you want to keep it. It contains the secret of your life.
P.S: Wondering. Where did I keep my diary before? Hopefully it won’t fall in the hand of unreponsible person. Gosh, my entire secret will be exposed to the whole world.
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Exposed from me to you…
September 18th, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Hate, Love. No Comments
It’s a wet day today here in my country. Was reading thru some stuff just to occupy my day and time as usual. My life has been ups and downs lately with some spicies from dear frens and dear enemies. I wonder why I still credited some of my well-known enemies in life. Should have sush them away long time ago. I just want to be me with no regrets and forgiven at all angles of my life even with ENEMIES. As if! haha
Was reading thru a life of someone. Hmmm some reflection of me indeed. Again this is NOT me. And it says and I quote;
Love lost
“I am an incredibly shy person, LEO by nature and we keep on being so selective with friends. I do not have many friends, but instead seem to form very few intense, deep friendships which are not at all healthy… please read this in all its honesty, this is my story.
Looking back, there seems to have been many times in my adolescence when I would lie awake in bed on a night, praying that my one friend would be in tomorrow so I wouldn’t seem like a loner…which I was. I guess it was because of my intense shyness and being abused dearly– bordering on social phobia or antisocial so called.
My status as the second child did not help either. So when I did find someone I clicked with, I clung on and used it to hide from others. I make myself vulnerable. GOSH! Unknowingly, I enjoyed the closeness of an codependent relationship and without realizing, I would become possessive. I can think of at least only that person I had been emotionally dependent on over the years.
However, it was my last the one and only unhealthy friendship that has taught me an unforgettable lesson. We’d been best friends since I moved out from my marriage – have 2 kids of my own. We were at our mid 30’s and did everything together, went through so much, relied on one another…
Yet today, our relationship is perhaps a tenth of what it used to be (for him I guess), indeed, I resent him. Everything had seemed great, we were utterly inseparable. Looking back, I can’t believe I did nothing to stop the completely destructive effect it had on all my other friends so called friendship.
When he took a day off work, I was lost and would sit alone, embarrassed and resentful and wanted to be with him at all time. He was able to control me – who revolved around him, and I had a similar influence over him. Deep down, I relished the attention and trust he had in me and I did nothing to prevent the unhealthy relationship from intensifying.
Bla..bla..bla one incident had took a turn on us. We loved each other so dearly until that night that I would never forget for the rest of my life. He has not been HIM and I have not been ME. We knew we love each others accompany but that was the end of a wonderful unhealthy intense friendship.”
P/S: I love you so dearly and I would want to see you happy ever after even we went our separate ways. Please dont do this to other women again and again because it hurts and very unhealthy indeed…THE END!
