Archive by Author
International Women’s Day
March 8th, 2010 by marcell, under Love. No Comments
International Women’s Day (8 March) is an occasion marked by women’s groups around the world. This date is also commemorated at the United Nations and is designated in many countries as a national holiday. When women on all continents, often divided by national boundaries and by ethnic, linguistic, cultural, economic and political differences, come together to celebrate their Day, they can look back to a tradition that represents at least nine decades of struggle for equality, justice, peace and development.
To remember today event, I found a lovely poem dedicated to all women. It is written by Jude Toussaint. The poem’s title; Women of color
Women of color are superficial
Women of color are women of wonder
Women of color are those who contains the artificial heart
Women of color are our mothers
Women of color are special
Women of color don’t need to speak of themselves
It is others that speak of them
Women of color have supernatural eyes
I think about them day and night
Laugh at them they’ll laugh as well cause
You’re laughing at yourself
above the mountains their guts can surpass
across the ocean and time their stories stays
if you see one smile then you will see true happiness
P.S: Do appreciate their hard work & love.
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80/20 Rule – good one and be a Happy Person
March 1st, 2010 by marcell, under Love. No Comments
Last week I received an email from someone and someone is my beloved wife. Something to do with 80/20 rules. Surely you have heard this before. I thought all the while, this quality stuff only related to work stuff or business issue. But interesting, it do applied to the relationship also. So, do enjoy reading it and feel free to comment.
Interesting quote from the movie ‘Why did I get married?’
In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.
But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT
But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.
Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don’t have. ‘Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it’s not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I’m crazy about her because she’s also understanding, intelligent, tender – so many things that my spouse is not’
Somewhere along the way, you’ll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did..
Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you’re looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%. Let’s say your wife is melancholic by nature.
You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: ‘I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . ..’
Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet
type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.
But wait! That’s only 20% of what you don’t have.
Don’t throw away the 80% that you already have!
That’s not all. Add to your spouse’s 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you’ve accumulated as lovers.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don’t have.
But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.
But I’m not just talking about marriage.
I’m talking about life!
About your jobs.
About your friends.
About your children.
About your lifestyles.
Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he’s missing? ‘They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they’ve got personal videos!’
I guarantee you’ll be miserable for the entire trip! Don’t live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class — because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?
The main message???
If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you are first class!
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Secret of a Happy Married Life (Hilarious)
February 22nd, 2010 by marcell, under Hug, Kiss, Love. No Comments
I received a joke from my friend. I’d like to share with you and it is very hilarious. I don’t know whether you agree with this secret or not.
Once I was asked by my Friend, “What is the secret behind your happy married life?”
I said, “You should share responsibilities with due love and Respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems.”
He asked, “Can you explain?”
I said, “In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other’s decisions.”
Still not convinced, Friend asked me “Give me some examples”
I said, “Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it”
He asked, “Then what is your role?”
I said, “My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire, etc etc and Do you know one thing, My wife NEVER, EVER objects to any of these decisions
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Are you willing to change?
February 8th, 2010 by marcell, under Love. No Comments
Few weeks back, I attended my friend’s weeding. Then , I saw a girl and she looked very familiar. So, I asked my friend; ” Who is that girl?” After my friend told her name, then I remembered her. Gosh, she really changed a lot. I got the chance to meet and ask her about her new look. She told me that she totally changed due to the study, stress and work environment.
That’s bringing me to today’s topic, “Are you willing to change?” Let us focus in the context of relationship.
Let me ask a series of questions, “Do you willing to change for the sake of your relationship? Your partner request? Or you just want to change just to impress your partner?”
I saw a few people are willing to change themselves whether the physical outlook or their behaviour. Physical outlook I meant basically about your weight, your body curve, your hair style, your skin, your face and etc. Behaviour, for example, do be more gentle, get rid smoking, do be a dumber (this things do happen).
But really people this kinds of stuff to please and impress their loved one. That’s love. Love is blind.
I have few fundamental questions beside this changes. Are you happy with the changes? Do you like the new look? Or you do hate it? Or is it really waste of time or money?.
If it is really worth to do it and you are happy, that’s should be okay. But if it is the other way around, you’ll probably suffer. The solution for me so far is to get consensuses or agreement from each party. Important is Win-Win situation whereby both party are happy.
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Trust & respect
January 18th, 2010 by marcell, under Hug, Love. No Comments
How are you there? I hope you are in a good shape. Now, we are stepping in 2010 and I bet some of you have a list of this year resolution. My advice is write it down and stick at any visible place that you can see it everyday. Back to today’s’ topic, trust and respect.
This topic was discussed out during my meeting up with a group of friends. We were chatting about marriage life. A lot of questions were brought up but there was a particular question that made our conversation became very hot.
The question: “What are the main factors to build up the relationship in marriage life?”
One of them answered: “Trust & respect”. She further explained on these two factors.
” Trust, it is the main essence and with that, it act as a foundation in the relationship. That should be the starting point to build the relationship. No point of having relationship, if you don’t trust each other.
Then, respect. Having relationship doesn’t mean you have to obstruct freedom of each other. Respect on their decision. Respect on their freedom. In relationship, we need our own space. Yup, space to breath. Space to move around. Space to relax the mind.”
I tend to agree with her opinion. Yup, indeed that it is really make a lot of sense.
So, nuture your relationship wth trust and respect
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How well you know your partner?
December 28th, 2009 by marcell, under Hug, Love. No Comments
MIX fm’s Dearly Deported had its first success story on Monday with the Tan sisters.
Tan Chiu Pih arrived in Kuala Lumpur from New Zealand after 14 hours of flight and thanks to her sister Tan Chiu Poh, she gets to stay for two weeks. They are headed to Penang to visit their 71-year-old father and other relatives. It would be Chiu Pih’s first visit there after three years.
Photos, videos and behind the scenes stuff are on www.mix.fm/dearlydeported.
The above event organized by MIX fm really touched my heart. It brings me of today’s title: How well you know your partner.
Do you know about her or him? A lot? A little? 100%, 50%, 30%? ..
How about in and out?…Mmmm..I know you are thinking NOW…hahaha
Let me list down several question whether you can answer it or not
How’s his/her background?
- Nickname….btw, my wifey dont’ know my nickname
- Favourite foods/drinks
- Favourite color
- Favourite gadgets
- Hobbies or games
How’s work life ?
- Where does she/he work?
- What’s his/her previous job?
- What does she/he actually doing?
- How much she/he own?…..This is the interesting one….normally they won’t give an actual figure. I bet you’ll agree with me.
How about friends?
- His/her closest friends
- School/University friends
- Colleagues
- Boyfriend or girlfriend…GOSH….this is tough one. Hopefully you don’t suspect your partner later on. This is at your own risk. No insurance cover
How about family?
- Rich or poor….don’t judge me wrong….Sometime, it always a trick…
- The parents…sometime they never know their name also. My advice…don’t ever forget their name. It is the first move to please them…this is especially important for you guys. Surely you want to please them to get their daughter.
- Siblings…well, this is important..if you just know her/him recently. You need a better connection with their siblings too but don’t ever ever get in the trap especially if she has a sister. Guy, please be careful with this and please handle it with care.
How about his/ her past history or event?
- Where is he/she come from?…We do heard story about this. Suddenly he/she appeared in your life and then….you’re falling in love.
- Did she/he ever commit crime?….Sorry for asking this question. But it is relevant also…Sometime you have to be detective to find out these.
- Whether she/he marry before? ….Trust me, people tends to hide their status
And there are tonne of questions you can ask. So, how’s so far? Able to the answer some of questions?
……Or worst still you’re totally blurred and in doubt…..Bad thing, you totally don’t know about your partner.
Well….you don’t need to worry about this. So, do want to know the solution? Ok, I give you five solutions or way to tackle this.
First of all, COMMUNICATION. It is for everybody whether you just start to date or you’re already a married couple. The more, the better. It is most important to do and from there, you’ll know about your partner. If you don’t communicate, you’ll never know.
Let me share a story and it is a real one. I remembered back during my marriage course, 5 years ago. I met this couple and they already married for 25 years. WOW, 25 years. So, I asked what’s their secret of long lasting relationship? They answered: “COMMUNICATION.” Then, I asked further questions. ” Normally once they are married, communication usually will be less. Both of you are working. And how’s it?” They said: “Every night before we go to bed and after our children go sleep, we will spend time to talk each other. Usually, we’ll spend about 1 hour to talk any stuff such as how’s day today?, how’s work? how’s the children?…even we talk about issue and problem. So, that’s our secret: Constant communication.” That’s the secret.. the power of words…
Well, I want to add a bit more on communication. Don’t ever interrupt the other person talking. Do hear and listen to it. Remember this one.
Second thing, TIMING. Don’t ever ask the question at the wrong timing. For example, while you are at the work. Yup, sometime we want to talk each other during day time. But try to refrain for it. Possible during lunch hour is better. Find a time that both of you are free. I’m sure you’ll shoot me this question. Both of us are not free, when is the best time? Let me put this way. God gives us 24 hours and that’s really a long period of time. Sit down with your partner and ask when is the best time. All of this is depends to you. For sure, you able to spend a while, for example 30 minutes….Make a move to plan to talk and chat each other.
Third solution, PREPARATION. What I mean is about bringing your partner to a better and quiet place. How about bringing to a lovely, cozy, and quiet restaurant? A lovely romantic evening will boost your communication to a better stage. If it runs well, you can’t even stop talking. Guy, girl likes this stuff. Don’t be so cocky or fussy about restaurant or dinning place. Once a while and actually it is good to cheer up your relationship especially for married couple.
Forth solution, MODE of COMMUNICATION. There are different mode of communications. Email, post, phone even using messenger. Try not to use this way…..F2F….face to face. Why? You can see face expression of each other. For those you stay apart due to work commitment or other, please please get your web camera or if you can afford to buy 3G phone, go for it because you can use video call.
Fifth solution, PATIENCE. To know the other person, it require a lot of patience. Don’t so eager to find out most of the things at the first place. I’m afraid that some of it you can’t accept it yet and you don’t want to ruin your relationship. Take time to know each other.
Remember this. None of us is perfect. Accept the way as it be. It is a matter of discovery about each other. So, why wait? Find more about your partner.
Before I end up, do enjoy this video clip “That’s How You know from Disney movie-Enchanted”
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Love from the distance
December 21st, 2009 by marcell, under Hug, Love. 3 Comments
Love from the distance
Have you question yourself about this?
Remember the phrase in the Shrek movie: “In land of far far far away. ”
It's not the distance
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance..
It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not going anywhere relationships.
Life is too short for draining, negative relationships…that should put everything in perspective: LIFE BEING TOO SHORT…let’s make the most of it by doing good to ourselves and loving ourselves, and walking with the Lord, step by step….
Suddenly I feel like breaking out in this Miley cyrus song THE CLIMB…love the lyrics; she did a good job at singing it with so much feeling…there you have it…it’s the climb that matters….HUGS for ya!!!
OK, that’s very true….sometimes you see people quarreling, bickering, so on and so forth, really not healthy…..might as well treat this on a different cause…some mind provoking statements…again… Life is too short and so precious.
Back to the subject. Love from the distance really require something from you. Something that you need to hold into it. It is called commitment. Yup, commitment and it is a really a big thing. At the beginning of the relationship, both of you already set a condition and commitment. Have you heard anyone saying this? I’ll call you, I’ll text you, I’ll email you everyday? It looks so WOW….but only a few while only. People tend to forget and will give all kind of excuses. If the first rule you cannot be fulfill, what’s the point. I’d say this rule, commitment is most important and the foundation of long distance relationship.
Apart from commitment, trust is crucial. Why? It is not easy to maintain a relationship that you are the other part of the world and the other person, only God know where it is. Trust require sincere and strong heart too. For sure, your mind will wonder what is the other person are doing? With whom? Where?…There are gazillion questions keep on pondering your mind. In other word, I called it doubt. Our mind will make all kinds of assumption and story. I bet it’ll make you so crazy and nut.
So, how’s so far?….did you pass the test already? One more test to go. How about patience? Let give you a simple test. Try not speak with your friend for 30 minutes or sit quietly in a room for 30 minutes. If you are able to go through this test, long distance relationship won’t be a problem for you. Just imaging you only meet each other once a year and sometime even longer than that.
I have a friend and he’s working in middle east country. He only get the chances to go back once a year but sometime it is depend to the situation. This guy is married and have 3 lovely children. So, what is the mode of their communication? Thanks God, internet is there. I salute the wife for her trust, commitment and patience….and so goes to the my friend..perfect score Ten.
Before I end of the story, let me summary 3 important rules in long distance relationship.
- Commitment
- Trust
- Patience
P.S: Aaaaa….there is another version of write up about love from distance. A different one….I’ll share it one day. Opsss….hihihi
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Is saving a relationship worth it?
December 14th, 2009 by marcell, under Hate, Kiss, Love. No Comments
Last night before I went to bed, I saw a note posted by my friend. It is about saving a relationship. Actually the article is written by a lady named Carol. It is good idea to share this article because there are lot of useful information. Some of it really makes me think deeply about it.
Here is what Carol thought about the relationship and she brought interesting question; “Is saving a relationship worth it?”
Every relationship goes through struggles but after you have been fighting for a long time to keep it alive you may ask if saving a relationship like this really worth it. You may have gone to marriage counseling and sought ways to bring back the love. You will have worked only to find that you would again start having intimacy problems of some kind. You may have experienced struggles in your dating life. You ask around for dating tips or advice and have been given some good suggestions only to find that the troubles are still there.
The struggles continue but there are some things you should think about to see if saving a relationship like the one you are in is worth the challenge. If you are thinking about getting a divorce or separating, you need to look at these things honestly and maybe get some serious relationship advice. Saving a relationship is an important thing to try and accomplish and will take a lot of work. It can also be frustrating work if the relationships not really there.
Write a list of the people you most enjoy spending time with. Is your spouse or partner on that list? Do you really enjoy spending time together? When was the last time you went out and just had fun? Is it possible for the two of you to do that? Are you content just being with them? A good relationship between two people is going to be one where they can enjoy being together or can feel content just having the person there.
Another very important thing to consider when you are deciding if this relationship is worth saving is do they make you feel like you are understood. Do you listen to your spouse? Do you feel like you are being listened to and that they understand you? Spend some time and try to see if they do.
A relationship is supposed to be a place where you can go when you need comforted. Is the relationship one that makes you feel comfort when you have gone through something bad? Is the relationship something that you constantly need comforted about? If you are looking elsewhere for comfort, there may be a problem.
If there are questions about faithfulness or infidelity, they need to be addressed. Are you able to trust them? Are they able to trust you? If you have a problem answering either one of those questions affirmatively, then you may either need some serious marriage counseling or couple’s therapy.
In saving a relationship, there are many other things to consider and a decision like this should not be taken lightly. Ask hard questions and search hard for answers and then you may be able to find if saving a relationship like the one you are in is worth it.
P.S: Thanks Widea for sharing this article.
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A Creed To Live By
December 11th, 2009 by marcell, under Hug. No Comments
Few day ago, my friend email me a lovely poem. So, touching. I’d like to share it with you all. The poem title is “A Creed To Live By”
Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.
Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
Don’t give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Don’t be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don’t dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.
Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you’re going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.
Nancy Sims
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Is it loneliness is contagious?
December 7th, 2009 by marcell, under Hate, Love. 4 Comments
Last weekend, I went to recreation park near my house for my routine exercise. While I jogged around the park, I saw few people sitting alone. Most of the time, the same group of people. They are around mid 30 to mid 40. Wondering to myself; “are they truly lonely or simply want to rest their mind?” Only God know about it. But it really struck me a question inside my mind: “Is it good to be lonely? Is it bad? Why need to be lonely?” The questions continue to wonder me until I read an article appeared in our local newspapers. Some more it appeared at the front page. The writer wrote the headline: “Loneliness is contagious, says research.”
Here is the article:
“Loneliness, like the flu, is contagious, US research shows. It can spread among groups of people and women are more likely than men to become “infected”, according to researchers at the University of Chicago, the University of California-San Diego and Harvard.
Using data from a large-scale study, they found lonely people tend to transmit their sad feelings to those around them, which eventually led to them being isolated from society.
“We detected an extraordinary pattern of contagion that leads people to be moved to the edge of the social network when they become lonely,” said University of Chicago psychologist John Cacioppo, a leading US expert on loneliness. The findings were published in the December issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Before losing their friends, lonely people transmit feelings of loneliness to their remaining friends, who also become lonely. “On the periphery people have fewer friends, yet their loneliness leads them to lose the few ties they have left,” Cacioppo said. “These reinforcing effects mean that our social fabric can fray at the edges, like a yarn that comes loose at the end of a crocheted sweater,” he said.
Because loneliness is associated with mental and physical diseases that can shorten life, he said it is important for people to recognise loneliness and help those affected before they move away to the edges.
For the study, the team examined records of the Framingham Heart Study, which originally studied the risks of cardiovascular disease for more than 5,000 people since 1948. The study has since been expanded, and its second generation, which includes another 5,124 people, was the focus of the loneliness research. The study showed that as people become lonely, they become less trustful of others, and a cycle develops that makes it harder for them to form friendships. Societies seem to develop a natural tendency to shed these lonely people. – Reuters
The first phrase: Loneliness, like a flu, is contagious. Gosh, it sounds so outrageous and scary too. It seems to be lonely can cause you much trouble. Looking back this article, it said,” the more lonely you are, the more shorter your life.” Gulp. This is even worst than flu. It is like a cancer, slowly taking away the person’s life.
The underlying question; “What are the main issue or root cause of lonely?” I believe there is must be something to trigger them to be in that stage. Based from my experience, it always related to something happens in the past.
Surely you’ll shoot a question; “What do mean something happens in the past?”. Ok, let me share a story. A sad story. So, prepare your tissue paper in just case you feel something in your eyes later on.
There is a guy. He is married with a very beautiful woman. Really a gorgeous woman and he loves her so much. Some more, this woman is his first love. All things run so well in their life. Both of them have a good job and even a lovely twin daughters. But one day, suddenly his wife passed out inside the washroom. He immediately brought his wife to hospital and finally he found out the wife is having congenital heart problem, a rare type. The doctor told him; “The only treatment is to have a heart transplant.” The world was so wonderful last time, suddenly become gloomy. The wife passed away after 3 months had been diagnosed with congenital heart disease. Until now, this guy never married again and prefer to be lonely. He said; “The only person in my life is my lovely wife. Now, she gone. No one will ever ever ever replace her. I love her so much.”
Truly a sad story and I really pity this guy. I can’t imaging if it is really happening to us. Touchwood….I don’t know how on earth I’ll ever get through it.
Back to the article, one last point I want to stress out. Lonely people seem to be isolated from society. This makes the situation become even worst. Loneliness is not happening only in one group of people. Children, teenagers, adult and even the common one old folks.
How to cure this loneliness? The answer lie to both the lonely person and society too.Both parties should play a role. First of foremost, the lonely person should move out from their quiet environment. Make friends , join any group or activities. Live to the fullest. As a society, you and me. Accept them, cheer them up, talk to them, encourage them.
So, Christmas is around the corner. If you have lonely friend, do invite them for Christmas dinner. I bet they will feel much happy.
P.S: By the way, do watch this movie ” Christmas carol” written by Charles Dickens. It is about loneliness.
Short synopsis: Ebenezer Scrooge, a bitter and miserly old moneylender, holds everything that embodies the joys and spirit of Christmas in contempt, keeping to himself and being nasty to people. I put up the movie trailer about this movie
