Archive for February, 2010
I felt in LOVE with An Addict?
February 24th, 2010 by ilabuzz, under Hug, Love. No Comments
Aged 37, Azaam (not his real name) is currently working as one of the engineers in Oil and Gas Company. Can I blend past and present tense? I am not sure whether he’s FREE now or is it too early to claim that he’s SOBER hmmm….
There was an unfortunate time in his life when he was addicted to drugs and they became his companion as he struggled through a difficult period of his life. He has traveled a long and complex road in search of freedom and a life of abstinence. Here is Azam’s story (mampus aku kena saman).
Adulthood
Being abroad from his parents, brothers and sisters, life seemed quite normal. 8 of them in a family most are either working or studying abroad. However, with much difficulty Azaam admits that at the age of 25, he’s father had passed away. He, the eldest in the family felt so lost and lost thruout and he turned into live with this dark secret that tainted his life forever. From that day forward he chose to dissociate himself from life and his family, to run to a “safe” place within himself, a place where things felt ok.
The Beginning
At the age of 25, Azaam was introduced to marijuana or cannabis or “ganja”. His first encountered with the drug was with a group of friends whom he met up with after work. “To be honest, I felt nothing, but I felt ok with myself. It was the first time that I felt at home with myself,” admits Azaam. Not to mention 2 years after that he got married. Since then he took it daily and as much as he wanted with cigarettes.
By the way, not only him but this was a cousins and friends affairs. For about six months initial stage, he managed to hide it from his family, but eventually they came to know what was happening. Azaam admits that he knew he had a problem, but figured he could overcome it alone and sooner. His family found it difficult to come to terms with his problem esp his mum. Mum used to say, “You were not my son anymore if you keep on taking it.” But mum being a mum… sigh!!!
The Road to Recovery
“I was always able to manipulate people to get the result I wanted,” said Azaam. There came a point when he realized that he wanted to make a change in his life. This time he wanted that change to be for himself, not for his family or anyone else not even for me as what he said.
“I remember my mum and I went for an evaluation, in which the doctor did a urine test for me. I would never forget the way my mum looked at me, and I could not shed a tear,” he added. My blood test also became thicker and thicker compared to normal people’s.
“They say when you do drugs, from the first hit you close a door in your mind, and open a new one. This is entirely true,” said Azaam.
Azaam has to be on the road to recovery. He is at a crossroad now; he can either continue using drugs to the point of death, which was his goal then, or he could clean up, but this time without rehab. First is to ADMIT! Then, the actual self-REHAB!
Azaam said, “The last 7 days have taken me through every emotion, and feeling. The days don’t get any easier, and life doesn’t cut you any breaks. I’ve had to relearn basic skills, such as how to deal with a basic situation. I am with very bad cold, flu and everything else you can name it! I had nose blooding last 2 days but hell not because of IT! And you know that right.”
A Word of Possible Advice
He commented, “Everything happens for a reason in life. It’s all about how you look at it. Remember that whatever you do, you are not the first to have done it and won’t be the last.”
He continued, “I know it’s not easy to stop using drugs, and the craving doesn’t ever go away, but when you are willing to make that change, trust me, the universe will work in your favor, and you will be guided. Now that I look back on what has happened, I realize that all this has brought me to where I am.” Azaam’s greatest support during this time is faith in Almighty Allah.
Choices – If it really happens to him, InsyaAllah
They say for an addict there are only three choices in active addiction: out of job, institutions and death. He shall not be very close to any of them!
It is with much courage that Azaam has faced his problems and is determined to make a positive, lasting change in his life. I pray that Almighty Allah will guide him, grant him ease in his endeavors, everlasting success and keep him firm on the straight path.
Finally, I hope that the story of Azaam will be an example for others who are going through a similar situation. I hope they can be inspired by this story and take the first step towards recovery. But it just a beginning of 7 days. I trusted him that he’s not even near to IT anymore. Shall wait until it reaches 21 days maybe?
P/S: There are a few things that I have learnt: you have to have faith in your higher power, and you have to be honest, and willing to change. You need to develop an emotional dependency on drugs, and you use them no matter what you felt. Drugs have used to help you to get away from reality. You used them because you wanted to, and you didn’t know any other way of being. I just dont want anyone to suffer… anyone in this world ;( Please get to the road of recovery and self freedom!
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Secret of a Happy Married Life (Hilarious)
February 22nd, 2010 by marcell, under Hug, Kiss, Love. No Comments
I received a joke from my friend. I’d like to share with you and it is very hilarious. I don’t know whether you agree with this secret or not.
Once I was asked by my Friend, “What is the secret behind your happy married life?”
I said, “You should share responsibilities with due love and Respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems.”
He asked, “Can you explain?”
I said, “In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other’s decisions.”
Still not convinced, Friend asked me “Give me some examples”
I said, “Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it”
He asked, “Then what is your role?”
I said, “My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire, etc etc and Do you know one thing, My wife NEVER, EVER objects to any of these decisions
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APa APa Aje…
February 19th, 2010 by ilabuzz, under Hug. No Comments
Can I just have a relationship with my Blackberry and making love with my Facebook?
I am just sick and tired of actual human or man in particular. I shall run away far from man. Listening to people’s issues are my bedtime stories. I just love it! But I have to control myself not to fall into any of them 
Everybody has their own little vice. Maybe it is a chocolate, maybe it is an ice cream. It could even be your other half! Good for you if you are craving for your other half! Thus to make oneself happy, one needs to look at things that he/she can control for that happiness.
My work mate today just bought a personalized ceramic mug, a big mug for her self satisfaction. Just because she loves mug. Make sure you are the envy in the office with this amazing personalized ceramic mug, I told her. Whatever you love in this world make sure you let people know about it; and when it comes to your mid morning brew. It might even help to lift your mood esp. when my friend tell me about the ceramic mug she bought. I can just feel her happiness and satisfaction.
P/S: Go on. Make yourself smile first before you make a smile on others Sometimes we have to be selfish to resolve our own issues first before we move on into others…
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Living with drug addict…
February 17th, 2010 by ilabuzz, under Hate. No Comments
Over last few days, it was a Chinese New Year celebration in Malaysia. Enjoyed that very long holidays and weekends.
Was a bit disturb on a few phone calls thruout. He is a drug addict, on marijuana for at least 13 years. Nobody knows and not even me. I congrats him for telling the truth… Work stress these days have made many professional people take marijuana. Believe me and I have tons of name and majority of them are doctors and engineers.
Substance abuse is as simple as “Dont you ever try it. You will end up in a mess.”
I can sense that for him to change and come clean will be very difficult. The only persons any of us ever actually can hope to change are ourselves. If there is a change, relationships with other people will, with all certainty, also change. To change means that you will experience something new, different and unknown. Because of that we all are afraid of changes in some degree. If you accept the condition that the only person in the problematic relation that you can change is you, and if you are willing to actually make an effort in order to change, you have the power to change the direction of your life radically. I am coming on different angle now to those who are with an addicted person. The following six stages are fundamental when you want to liberate yourself from the destructive aspects of living with an addictive person:
1. Stop taking responsibility for what your addictive relative or friend does.As long as you make it easy in an irresponsible manner, through covering up the tracks and carrying out his/her duties, you cannot begin to grow and change the way you want to.
2. Stop letting yourself be abused, both physically and mentally, by your addicted friend or partner. To let yourself be abused means that you strengthen the feeling of indignation, but it also brings insufficient personal strength, dignity and self-respect. Therefore, it is time for you to stop being a punchbag. Each time the addict tries to abuse you, you must act, in one way or another, to prevent this abuse (even if it means that you have to go to the police or stay out of those situations).
3. Get a life outside the addictive relationship. You need to break free from the isolation that the addict has put you in. In order to feel better – do interesting things, have fun – try to change despite the fact that you’ve chosen to continue living with marijuana – you have to live your life in another way. Do things together with others or on your own.
4. Find and preserve new relationships. Closely related to stage three is the requirement that you begin to develop new relationships. This can be particularly difficult since it requires that you take initiatives on your own. You must meet and get to know new people. You probably also will be forced to re-evaluate your bonds with old friends, relatives and family. Organizations can be an excellent starting point in your search for new friends who are willing to share their strength, their understanding and their sympathy.
5. Improve your physical shape. Constructive change must include protecting your physical health and well-being. That means, among other things, diet, exercise and hygiene.
6. Make changes every day. It is important that you work with the five previous stages every day in order to get any results. It will take time and energy, but it’s worth it in the long run.
P/S: Tell me when you are free from that substance abuse and I am willing to help in any way I cant. Just dont fall in love with ME!
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Cinta Agung – Majestic Love?
February 10th, 2010 by ilabuzz, under Hug, Love. No Comments
My apology that I dont want to get dirty today. Can I?
Taken from my fren’s note in Facebook. Thanks Aina…
Aina started to write and her pen started to mingle around that piece of paper. Then the pen and the paper started to make love
It was a sad news.
The whole family perished in a car accident. The car was wrecked and burnt until nothing of it was left. Including the 6 – husband, wife, and 4 kids aged between 11 and 2. They were on the way home from a vacation.
I try to put myself in their situation. Knowing those moments would be the last that you’ll ever have with the children. Knowing that the next day, you are just history and memories, nothing more than pictures kept in drawers and shoeboxes.
It must be painful, but it may also be a relief knowing that the children will not grow up missing the love of their parents.
I don’t know. I can never imagine.
But reading that news also got me thinking, there must be such thing as love made in heaven. The kind of love that binds a man and a woman, so strong that they would die with each other. Not for, but with.
Cinta agung, a wise friend calls it.
That same friend asked me once if cinta agung would still exist on this earth till she dies.
I told her it still would, only it may never hit neither she nor me.
Which reminds me of a man whose wife succumbed to the cruelty of the big C. She was his first love from the moment he laid eyes on her. She became the pivotal point in his life, everything about him was around her. When they got to know of her illness, it was too late to do anything. But her breath was his life. For the few years that she beared the pain, were the years that he too was hurt silently. When she could no longer get up from her bed, it was him who bathed her, fed her, changed her. He made her beautiful for their small children to remember how the mother looked like when she was alive. Even at the point when she was weak, she was his strength. She was his everything.
The night that she left in her sleep was the night the world fell upon him. The children were still small, his life was gone. He had no strength to move on, not even for himself. When she died, he died too… soul, life and love.
*sigh*
Cinta agung? Maybe it was.
Thanks so much for the sharing Aina. Today our blog is NOT rated XXX… So you can let your kids to read this one
P/S: I have to cry and I am tearing to bed, I guess ;’(
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Are you willing to change?
February 8th, 2010 by marcell, under Love. No Comments
Few weeks back, I attended my friend’s weeding. Then , I saw a girl and she looked very familiar. So, I asked my friend; ” Who is that girl?” After my friend told her name, then I remembered her. Gosh, she really changed a lot. I got the chance to meet and ask her about her new look. She told me that she totally changed due to the study, stress and work environment.
That’s bringing me to today’s topic, “Are you willing to change?” Let us focus in the context of relationship.
Let me ask a series of questions, “Do you willing to change for the sake of your relationship? Your partner request? Or you just want to change just to impress your partner?”
I saw a few people are willing to change themselves whether the physical outlook or their behaviour. Physical outlook I meant basically about your weight, your body curve, your hair style, your skin, your face and etc. Behaviour, for example, do be more gentle, get rid smoking, do be a dumber (this things do happen).
But really people this kinds of stuff to please and impress their loved one. That’s love. Love is blind.
I have few fundamental questions beside this changes. Are you happy with the changes? Do you like the new look? Or you do hate it? Or is it really waste of time or money?.
If it is really worth to do it and you are happy, that’s should be okay. But if it is the other way around, you’ll probably suffer. The solution for me so far is to get consensuses or agreement from each party. Important is Win-Win situation whereby both party are happy.
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Kama Sutra: Sex Education Verse 2
February 5th, 2010 by ilabuzz, under Lust. No Comments
Ya ya….I will continue… on another weird positioning but rationally should be ok to try. It can be a bit awkward for first timer I guess. It’s call the spoon position Dont laugh but the picture looks very difficult and kinky. BTW, why are we woman have to raise our leg high up…? hahaha
Every couple knows how to assume the spoon: Lie on your side with your guy behind you. Keep both of your torsos in this doze pose and lift your top leg. Have him shift his lower body into a half-kneeling position, entering you from behind.
This passion pose gives you the best of both worlds! The half-catty-style, half-spooning hybrid combines the cozy intimacy of lying side by side with G-spot-rubbing penetration. Nothing beats having him holding you tight while taking you higher. Give him a gentle reminder that both his hands are free, guiding them to caress your curves and stimulate your clitoris. Up his ante by reaching behind, fondling his testicles, and stroking his perinium as he thrusts.
This position I guess will be very good for married people in the 20s and 30s. Coming to your 40s, damn you need a lot of stamina MAN! If want to try, better explore now while young and vibrant
P/S: Happy trying people. If you were to ask me whether sex is important in marriage. YES! As a woman, I feel that as we aged we normally a bit lazy towards having it. But, that is what sharing in marriage is all about, chemistry and spiritually besides a day to day material world. Good Luck Folks!
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Kama Sutra: Sex Education Verse 1
February 3rd, 2010 by ilabuzz, under Lust. No Comments
Just want to get dirty today. Actually it’s part of knowledge for all married people. Have you ever got tired of the position you and your partner are dealing with. Sometimes people said even in sex you have to be creative. I guess most of us like the missionary position. As long as both parties enjoy it why not try something new and more adventurous, right. You all must have known about kama sutra right? Anyone?
Yes, it is The Kama Sutra (Sanskrit: कामसूत्र), (alternative spellings: Kamasutraṃ or simply Kamasutra), is an ancient Indian text widely considered to be the standard work on human sexual behavior in Sanskrit literature written by the Indian scholar Mallanāga Vātsyāyana. A portion of the work consists of practical advice on sex. It is largely in prose, with many inserted anustubh poetry verses. Kāma means sensual or sexual pleasure, and “sūtra” literally means a thread or line that holds things together, and more metaphorically refers to an aphorism (or line, rule, formula), or a collection of such aphorisms in the form of a manual. The modern English word “suture” is derived from the same root.
The Kama Sutra is the oldest and most notable of a group of texts known generically as Kama Shastra (Sanskrit: Kāma Śāstra). Traditionally, the first transmission of Kama Shastra or “Discipline of Kama” is attributed to Nandi the sacred bull, Shiva’s doorkeeper, who was moved to sacred utterance by overhearing the lovemaking of the god and his wife Parvati and later recorded his utterances for the benefit of mankind. Hahaha that’s just the juice of it!
OK I know… bla bla bla. Let me get it straight and share one of many positions in Kama Sutra so called “Tantric Sex Positions”. This is one of many would maybe love it!
Instruction: Sit your man down with his legs crossed. Facing him, straddle his legs and lower yourself into his lap — without him penetrating you. Wrap your legs around either side of his torso, so they’re hugging his buttocks. Then, as you hold each other’s arms or lower backs tightly, he enters you. Start to slowly rock back and forth together, increasing your speed as you come closer to climaxing.
Like the standard missionary position, this takes eye contact and body-to-body closeness to the max but adds a passion perk. The comfy upright pose encourages equal control over the speed and timing of his thrusting, allowing for a gradual buildup of pleasure for both partners. Plus, your clitoris is at an easy-to-reach angle, allowing him to stroke your love button without interrupting the hot-and-heavy action. That’s the description.
P/S: Happy trying you great couple people. Enjoy them with your love ones. If you have any further request, I will show more in the next sharing
