Last weekend, I went to recreation park near my house for my routine exercise.  While I jogged around the park, I saw few people sitting alone. Most of the time, the same group of people. They are around mid 30 to mid 40. Wondering to myself; “are they truly lonely or simply want to rest their mind?” Only God know about it. But it really struck me a question inside my mind: “Is it good to be lonely? Is it bad? Why need to be lonely?” The questions continue to wonder me until I read an article appeared in our local newspapers. Some more it appeared at the front page. The writer wrote the headline: “Loneliness is contagious, says research.”

Here is the article:

“Loneliness, like the flu, is contagious, US research shows. It can spread among groups of people and women are more likely than men to become “infected”, according to researchers at the University of Chicago, the University of California-San Diego and Harvard.

Using data from a large-scale study, they found lonely people tend to transmit their sad feelings to those around them, which eventually led to them being isolated from society.

“We detected an extraordinary pattern of contagion that leads people to be moved to the edge of the social network when they become lonely,” said University of Chicago psychologist John Cacioppo, a leading US expert on loneliness. The findings were published in the December issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Before losing their friends, lonely people transmit feelings of loneliness to their remaining friends, who also become lonely. “On the periphery people have fewer friends, yet their loneliness leads them to lose the few ties they have left,” Cacioppo said. “These  reinforcing effects mean that our social fabric can fray at the edges, like a yarn that comes loose at the end of a crocheted sweater,” he said.

Because loneliness is associated with mental and physical diseases that can shorten life, he said it is important for people to recognise loneliness and help those affected before they move away to the edges.

For the study, the team examined records of the Framingham Heart Study, which originally studied the risks of cardiovascular disease for more than 5,000 people since 1948. The study has since been expanded, and its second generation, which includes another 5,124 people, was the focus of the loneliness research. The study showed that as people become lonely, they become less trustful of others, and a cycle develops that makes it harder for them to form friendships. Societies seem to develop a natural tendency to shed these lonely people. – Reuters

The first phrase: Loneliness, like a flu, is contagious. Gosh, it sounds so outrageous and scary too.  It seems to be lonely can cause you much trouble. Looking back this article, it said,” the more lonely you are, the more shorter your life.” Gulp. This is even worst than flu. It is like a cancer, slowly taking away the person’s life.

The underlying question; “What are the main issue or root cause of lonely?” I believe there is must be something to trigger them to be in that stage.  Based from my experience, it always related to something happens in the past.

Surely you’ll shoot a question; “What do mean something happens in the past?”. Ok, let me share a story. A sad story. So, prepare your tissue paper in just case you feel something in your eyes later on.

There is a guy. He is married with a very beautiful woman. Really a gorgeous woman and he loves her so much. Some more, this woman is his first love. All things run so well in their life. Both of them have a good job and even a lovely twin daughters. But one day, suddenly his wife passed out inside the washroom. He immediately brought his wife to hospital and finally he found out the wife is having congenital heart problem, a rare type.  The doctor told him; “The only treatment is to have a heart transplant.” The world was so wonderful last time, suddenly become gloomy.  The wife passed away after 3 months had been diagnosed with congenital heart disease. Until now, this guy never married again and prefer to be lonely.  He said; “The only person in my life is my lovely wife. Now, she gone. No one will ever ever ever replace her. I love her so much.”

Truly a sad story and I really pity this guy. I can’t imaging if it is really happening to us. Touchwood….I don’t know how on earth I’ll ever get through it.

Back to the article, one last point I want to stress out. Lonely people seem to be isolated from society. This makes the situation become even worst.  Loneliness is not happening only in one group of people.  Children, teenagers, adult and even the common one old folks.

How to cure this loneliness? The answer lie to both the lonely person and society too.Both parties should play a role. First of foremost, the lonely person should move out from their quiet environment. Make friends , join any group or activities. Live to the fullest. As a society, you and me. Accept them, cheer them up, talk to them, encourage them.

So, Christmas is around the corner. If you have lonely friend, do invite them for Christmas dinner. I bet they will feel much happy.

P.S: By the way, do watch this movie  ” Christmas carol” written by Charles Dickens. It is about loneliness.

Short synopsis: Ebenezer Scrooge, a bitter and miserly old moneylender, holds everything that embodies the joys and spirit of Christmas in contempt, keeping to himself and being nasty to people. I put up the movie trailer about this movie