Archive for September, 2009
Love you… hate you… then love you AGAIN
September 30th, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Hate, Love. No Comments
Love & hatred
Good morning World. How is everyone doing? I am very happy today to dream of this topic to share with you folks.
Have you come across a love hate relationship. At one point or another, I think all of us have. It can be to your loved ones which is obviously a human or to an object like FB for example… hehe 
But my sharing of course about a love-hate relationship on us, human which involves feelings.
Love occurs when the feelings of intimacy is too strong for not having the other person around you to spending time together. It is too strong feelings of affection and attachment. I love you as in too much or so much that I can’t live without you…HELLO 
Hatred on the other hand, often occurs when these two above people have completely lost that intimacy within a loving relationship, YET still retain some passion for or perhaps some commitment to each other. I hate you but I still need you in my life… hah? Sounds familiar right?
Then, what should we do if we are in this relationship? My view is we should just let the hate go away and concentrate on the love part. And let me tell you that the two people in such a relationship are most of the time totally incompatible. But believe that they are both with the best person for themselves that they are going to get… What a life right!
We might not want or being addicted to this love-hate relationship. But, sometimes it is fun when you think of it. Most of the time it is either make you laugh or make you realize that this is a waste to fully enjoy life!
P/S: My hate and my love for you are infinite… :O Talk to you soon!
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Diary-a secret life file
September 28th, 2009 by marcell, under Hate, Hug, Kiss, Love, Lust. No Comments
Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
Today I saw a boy and I wondered if he noticed me,
he took my breath away.
Dear Diary,
I can’t get him off my mind
and it scares me ’cause I’ve never felt this way.
No one in this world knows me better than you do,
so diary I’ll confide in you.
Dear Diary,
Today I saw that boy as he walked by I thought he smiled at me,
and I wondered
does he know what’s in my heart?
I tried to smile, but I could hardly breathe.
Should I tell him how I feel
or would that scare him away?
Diary, tell me what to do,
please tell me what to say.
Dear Diary,
One touch of his hand,
now I can’t wait to see that boy again.
He smiled,
and I thought my heart could fly.
Diary, do you think that we’ll be more than friends?
yeahea yeahea yea oh
I’ve got feeling we’ll be so much more.. than friends.
ooh.. yea yea yea
Don’t get my wrong. It is not written by me. Well, it is a piece of song by Britney Spears. It might what she wrote on her own diary. Who know.
Diary, sound very familiar to you?. I’m talking about your personal diary. I bet you do have it before. Why do need a diary?
Here is what Pink said.
“Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
‘Cause you’re the only one that I know who’ll keep Them
Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
I know you’ll keep them, and this is what I’ve Done”
So, clear enough that diary is your personal secret file. A file which mostly contain more on relationship story, relationship problem, love, hate, kiss, hug, and even lust stories. A file contains secret of your life.
Diary where a person voice out her or his feeling. Diary is a place to voice their concern or needs. Sometime, diary will keep the most important evidence because I came across before it.
A friend of mine dropped his diary and I found it. People always say, don’t ever ever read other people stuff. Yup, at first I don’t want to read it. But the diary was opened and shown the pages that caught my eye site. Sorry , I can’t elabotate further because it cause me a big trouble later on. Why? This was happen 10 years ago. So, just keep it as secret and mystery to you.
Diary used to be written in a special book. I think some still keep it that way. But with modern technology, you can write your diary anywhere. However, there is a risk of information leak compare the one written in a book.
Do we really need a diary?
Well, it is up to us. The choice is your hand. The most important how you want to keep it. It contains the secret of your life.
P.S: Wondering. Where did I keep my diary before? Hopefully it won’t fall in the hand of unreponsible person. Gosh, my entire secret will be exposed to the whole world.
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Separation
September 25th, 2009 by marcell, under Hug, Love. No Comments
Separation. A word that synonym with our life. The journey of separation start when each of us separate from our mother womb. After that, we continue to face series of separation.
Separation
Let me list down series of separation
- The day that you are born ( I mentioned it earlier)
- The moment you change to bottle milk. No more breast feeding
- First day you step into kindergarten. No more full time with parents
- From primary school to secondary school. Change to a new environment. Meet new friends and say to bye bye to old friends
- Once you entered to boarding school. No more mom’s cook
- Entered into overseas university or college. Away and far away from family
- After completed your study, you entered into working environment. Some might transfer to far land or in the middle of the sea. Out of city
- Found your loved one and married. Change the status from single to married
- Some of them might move apart & separated. I’m talking about divorce or broken relationship
The last bullet point, a lot of cases happen. It was really sad and something I felt guilty because I didn’t know and some more it happened in front of me. I tend to blame myself and told myself: “Why can’t I doing anything to save it?”
Just recently I chatted to my best buddy. Suddenly I asked about his marriage and he told her wife “died”. I thought his wife passed away. Then he elaborated more and found out her wife run away with another guy. I really pity of him and some more, both of them have a cute and handsome son.
Separation, part and puzzle of our life. We never know what will be another series of separation. For me, last series will be the closing chapter of our life. I bet you know what I meant. So, whatever separation, move on and enjoy your life. No one will stop you unless yourself.
Before I end up my post, let me share a poem entitled; “Moving on”
Now it separates in divorce
The hatred and pain we share has overcome our hopes
I cant even remember the last time I actually cared for you
And it seems an eternity since love was shared or anewed
I am no longer afraid of what is to come
I no longer can doubt that I will move on
My heart doesn’t even hurt
it just feels shriveled and old
But I know soon it will begin to regrow
My life is now without you
and to be honest it feels good
My heart is mending, I am smiling and I no longer dwell on you
The loss of you hurts, just a tiny bit
but not enough to grieve you or shed a single tear
So now I will say goodbye
it was a nasty up hill ride
but we will now be moving on
to something we deserve
Out lives were once crossed
but now we can correct our past
and find a new adventure in moving into the present
P.S: No one can run away from the separation series. Face it. If plan to separate, think carefully, think deeper. If really the relationship can’t be safe at all, move out peacefully. Don’t waste your time to fight or argue.
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Positive statements made worse
September 23rd, 2009 by marcell, under Hug. No Comments
I quoted from article entitled: Positive statements made worse in The Sun newspaper
Feeling down
Positive statements such as “I am a lovable person” or “I will succeed” makes some people feel worse about themselves instead of raising their self esteem, a recent study showed.
“From at least as far back as Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking (1952), the media has advocated saying favourable things to oneself,” said the study by Canadian psychologists, which was published in Psychological Science.
It cites a popular self-help magazine that advises its readers to “try chanting: I’m powerful, I’m strong, and nothing in this world can stop me”, but says the practice doesn’t work for everyone.
Positive self-statements make people who are already down on themselves feel worse rather than better, found the study conducted by psychologists Joanne Wood and John Lee of the University of Waterloo and Elaine Perunovic of the University of New Brunswick.
For the study, the psychologists asked people with low self-esteem and people with high self-esteem to repeat the phrase: “I am a lovable person,” and then measured participants’ moods and feelings about themselves.
What they found is that individuals who started out with low self- esteem felt worse after repeating the positive self statement.
“I think that what happens is that when a low selfesteem person repeats positive thoughts, they probably have contradictory thoughts,” Wood told AFP.
“So, if they’re saying ‘I’m a lovable person,’ they might be thinking: ‘Well, I’m not always lovable’ or ‘I’m not thoughts may overwhelm the positive thoughts,” she said. Although positive thinking does appear to be effective when it’s part of a broader programme of therapy, on its own, it tends to have the reverse effect of what it is supposed to do, said Wood.
She urged self-help books, magazines and TV shows to stop sending a message that just chanting a positive mantra will raise selfesteem. “It’s frustrating to people when they try it and it doesn’t work for them,” Wood said. – AFP
Positive statements made worse. Sound controversial? Definitely yes. Why I say like that?
Just go to any book store. Go the motivational or self help section. All the books will stress on the positive statement. Positive statement make you feel great and secure. Then, find books on building out or strengthen out the relationship. It’ll say the same thing over and over and over again.
Yes, definitely we want our relationship to be wonderful and great. Whatever the article said, positive statement do help to replenish the love energy, to boost the relationship and to increase bonding.
If there is positive, surely have the negative also. But in terms of damage negative statements are more damaging. It worst than positive statement. The relationship will be in a big trouble .
So, how to go about? Believe and trust yourself. In relationship, nothing comes so easy. There is a lot of challenges and hardship. The important, as you build the trust and compliment each other, definitely whatever positive statement you made, it will work well.
P.S: Never, never under estimate the power of trust and believe.
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Compromising in marriage
September 21st, 2009 by marcell, under Hug. No Comments
Last night, I was talking to my old friend. One of our topic related to marriage. There were a few issue on marriage but I want to stress on important topic: Compromising in marriage
Compromise
Let me start with an African proverb and it states, “Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye’;
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don’t let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance,
pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs”
The proverb means well, where you search for your soul-mate. After marriage, forgive, forget the imperfections and build the relationship for the better…
It’s talking about compromising being in the marriage, i would like to believe that more on give and take as husband and wife, the flaws and what not……
Maybe it will take it as compromising with one another, be transparent, being of an assistance and what not….
For me, the true foundation of compromising in marriage is believe and trust each other. Sound easy? It is not easy as it say. Truly both party need to open up their mind and forget about their own ego. Yup, ego a truly human nature and something will ruin the relationship.
In marriage, there will be hardship and challenges. All couple will go through this and none of you can able to run away from it.
Trust one another, take care one another, Cherish one another…the ultimate; love one another.
P.S: Do spend time with your partner. Talk and be open minded. Put away your anger. Admit each one weakness. I bet you with these will help to cherish and build up your relationship.
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Exposed from me to you…
September 18th, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Hate, Love. No Comments
It’s a wet day today here in my country. Was reading thru some stuff just to occupy my day and time as usual. My life has been ups and downs lately with some spicies from dear frens and dear enemies. I wonder why I still credited some of my well-known enemies in life. Should have sush them away long time ago. I just want to be me with no regrets and forgiven at all angles of my life even with ENEMIES. As if! haha
Was reading thru a life of someone. Hmmm some reflection of me indeed. Again this is NOT me. And it says and I quote;
Love lost
“I am an incredibly shy person, LEO by nature and we keep on being so selective with friends. I do not have many friends, but instead seem to form very few intense, deep friendships which are not at all healthy… please read this in all its honesty, this is my story.
Looking back, there seems to have been many times in my adolescence when I would lie awake in bed on a night, praying that my one friend would be in tomorrow so I wouldn’t seem like a loner…which I was. I guess it was because of my intense shyness and being abused dearly– bordering on social phobia or antisocial so called.
My status as the second child did not help either. So when I did find someone I clicked with, I clung on and used it to hide from others. I make myself vulnerable. GOSH! Unknowingly, I enjoyed the closeness of an codependent relationship and without realizing, I would become possessive. I can think of at least only that person I had been emotionally dependent on over the years.
However, it was my last the one and only unhealthy friendship that has taught me an unforgettable lesson. We’d been best friends since I moved out from my marriage – have 2 kids of my own. We were at our mid 30’s and did everything together, went through so much, relied on one another…
Yet today, our relationship is perhaps a tenth of what it used to be (for him I guess), indeed, I resent him. Everything had seemed great, we were utterly inseparable. Looking back, I can’t believe I did nothing to stop the completely destructive effect it had on all my other friends so called friendship.
When he took a day off work, I was lost and would sit alone, embarrassed and resentful and wanted to be with him at all time. He was able to control me – who revolved around him, and I had a similar influence over him. Deep down, I relished the attention and trust he had in me and I did nothing to prevent the unhealthy relationship from intensifying.
Bla..bla..bla one incident had took a turn on us. We loved each other so dearly until that night that I would never forget for the rest of my life. He has not been HIM and I have not been ME. We knew we love each others accompany but that was the end of a wonderful unhealthy intense friendship.”
P/S: I love you so dearly and I would want to see you happy ever after even we went our separate ways. Please dont do this to other women again and again because it hurts and very unhealthy indeed…THE END!
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Scars: What about now?
September 16th, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Hate, Love. No Comments
Bloody heart
I was listening to What about now: Chris D’s song.
The lyrics is so meaningful when it says can we see beyond the scars?
I am not sure whether we can see beyond the scars. Maybe depends on how deep the hurts is right?
But here is the lyrics line by line… love to digest them…enjoy!
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the stars
And make it to the dawn?
Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.
What about now?
What about today?
What if you’re making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it’s lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it’s too late,
What about now?
The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.
What about now?
What about today?
What if you’re making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love had never went away?
What if it’s lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it’s too late,
What about now?
Now that we’re here,
Now that we’ve come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.
What about now?
What about today?
What if you’re making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love had never went away?
What if it’s lost behind words we could never find?
What about now?
What about today?
What if you’re making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love had never went away?
What if it’s lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it’s too late,
Baby, before it’s too late,
Baby, before it’s too late,
What about now?
P/S: The outside wounds are healing better than expected but the inside wounds aren’t healing very well, I guess!
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3 common things that the lady will keep on saying it again and again and again
September 14th, 2009 by marcell, under Hate, Love. 2 Comments
I would like to share . Guy, pay attention and you might always ignore this thing all the while.
Firstly, their feeling
They always their feeling whether they feel bad or good. They’ll never stop telling you. Let me point out several conversations to you
“You know, darling. There’s something wrong with my feeling. I don’t what to say. Do you feel it too?”
“You know, that day. I feel so happy that I buy this lovely shoes at stores. Wow, it is so beautiful. Some more, there is also a huge discount.”
Secondly, about their appearance
“What do think about my look today? It seems there is something miss. I try to figure out but I don’t what is it.
“See my dress today. Is it pretty? I have been hunting this dress for century.”
Thirdly, about their weight
“Do I look fat today? I just weight it just and it seems something wrong with the weighing machine.”
“Am I putting weight? It seem my dress become tight”
Guy, is it the above sound familiar to you?
So, don’t just sit there or don’t just keep quiet. Re-act upon their needs. Open your mouth and show concern to them.
P.S: Guy, sometime. I also don’t what they are talking about. Do be patience.
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Forgive to Forget
September 11th, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Hug. No Comments
Darkness sadness
I know a very close friend of mine who never forgive and I am not sure whether he can ever forget. But in the world of forgiveness we have several options right? We can take revenge, hold on to the hurt and anger, or forgive to forget. Although the first two options are popular and more appealing. ‘Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath’.
The second option is equally appealing as the first. We find it very easy and justified to hold a grudge against the one that has done us wrong. The option is especially appealing if the one who did us wrong does not admit to the actions, treats it as something insignificant or worse yet, something that we deserved.
To be able to “forgive to forget” is not an easy process. It is one that takes time and cannot be done with human strength alone. However, there are benefits both in our present lives on earth and in eternity for doing so. Healthier bodies, relationships, and a home with God in eternity are what we can enjoy.
P/S: Join us as we walk through what it means to “forgive to forget” and how we can make this process more than just another cliché. MSA why are you damn stubborn? Move on and leave me alone!
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Me Loving You…
September 9th, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Hug, Love. No Comments
I want to start by saying, “I just have a chance to spend time with my kids on certain time frame. I guess if you have that whole 24/7 with the kids, you just have to grab it wisely and lovingly. I didn’t have the opportunity to do the below…” This is how I read it and share with you guys…
Loving our kids should come naturally. Well, for some people, love flows out seemingly on automatic and with no stops. Then there are those times you’re so aggravated with your kids, you’re not sure you even want to “love them through.” In fact, if there was a place you could deposit them, and pick them up at eighteen, fully trained for life, you might be tempted to do just that.
There’s no set amount of love that’s right for your child, to grow up into a well balanced adult with high self esteem and good self-confidence. There needs to be a sense of love, nurturing, and a bond between you and your children.
I think appreciation for the gifts they bring to your life, appreciation for the challenges – emotionally and intellectually that they produce, and an awe of their developing selves is a great beginning to tap into your reserves of love. It’s so easy to rush through morning, and evening routines especially if you’re working and your children are involved in extra-curricular activities. But, if you can start your day fifteen minutes earlier than usual for some “cuddle” or “quiet talk time” to center you and your children before you all rush off in your separate directions, you will all benefit.
It’s surprising what a quiet fifteen minutes of undivided attention can do. If you can end your day with a bedtime routine, even with teens, where you all check in about your day, what’s been happening, how you’re all feeling about your life, it also makes a big difference.
When we were growing up the usual questions parents asked were “How was school?” “Got any grades back today?” “Did you do your homework?” Those were good surface check in questions. But today, with life speeding by and more things happening, I think some more give and take around questions like, “How are you doing / feeling / seeing the world around you?” with thoughtful pauses to actually hear their responses, will go far towards your children knowing you really are interested and a part of their life. It’s easy to get into chauffeuring and tasks with your children, that qualitative, loving stuff is more difficult. Try asking your kids how they are going to handle something, instead of telling them how to do it. Then maybe ask if they’re interested in your brainstorming more options with them, therefore providing your kids with more options. Sigh… what a lovely routine.
P/S: So, parenting love – how you do it, when you do it, how intensely you show it, in what ways you show it; is largely dependent on how you were loved as a kid and how conscious you want to be of changing or keeping those patterns. Mom n Dad embrace your kids while you can!
