Archive for July, 2009
Opposite Sex vs. Octopus?
July 31st, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Love, Lust. No Comments
Are we, the opposite sex that complicated? The truth is yes we are indefinitely complicated. That’s a book saying that we are the only species on earth that has continual trouble with the mating ritual, courtship and relationships-other species have it all worked out and get along fine. 15 years ago with Psychology for a complete 4 years and even 2 years of full minor in human relations, I myself couldn’t even figure out why I screwed up in this subject, not literally but in real life. What a mess! But there’s always a lesson to be learnt behind it and it’s FAITH and DESTINY that I have to go through!
I want to take an example of an octopus “sotong kurita”. I hope this is a good example. It’s a simple animal with a tiny brain so to speak. But octopi never argue about male and female differences. The female comes on heat at a certain time and the male octopi all come around waving and wiring their tentacles. She picks the one with the tentacles she likes best and gives him the green light. She never accuses him not paying her enough attention. And he never worries whether it was as good for her as it was for him. We human, my God. Women, that’s my species, would say they want sensitive men, but they never want them to be too sensitive. Men have lil idea about the subtle dinstinction. Men dont realize they need to be sensitive to a woman’s feelings, but tough and manly in other ways.
With that in mind a simple rule is women evolve as child-bearers and nest-defenders and, as a result, female brains became hardwired to nurture, nourish, love and care for the people in their lives. Men evolved with a completely different job description. They are hunters, chasers and I keep on saying this to myself…gosh HUNTERS AND CHASERS. Whatelse…? They are also protectors, providers and problem-solvers. Thus, it makes sense that male and female brains are wired for different functions and priorities. Should we evolve to the point at which we now need to know best to get on the opposite sex to stand any chance, if any lah, of living happy lives, enjoying a fair share of fun, excitement and enrichment good relationships can bring?
PS: I will leave your weekend with this quote,
“A woman needs to know but one man well to understnd all men; whereas a man may know all women and not understand one of them”. Helen Rowland. Love ya! Muahhhks!
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I just want to be heard…
July 29th, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Hate. No Comments
Good morning peeps! Got a call from a girlfriend last night and she said I just wanted to be heard!
What is this all about? Of course, it’s about men and women. Generally, we should understand that woman usually just wants to be heard and not fixed. I will have my writing short and sweet for today because it’s a rainy day in my country.
I dont want to blame anyone for this but literally this is how it works peeps!
If a woman is upset or stressed and needs to talk, a simple technique is to say to a man, “I need to talk to you about several things. I dont need any solutions, I just want you to listen.”Man for whatever creation that is they always lack on listening skills…haha One of the obvious inference we women can used is MEN DONT WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S ON TV, THEY WANT TO KNOW WHAT ELSE IS ON TV!”.
The thing is man always see himself self-worth when he can achieve results o r by how accurately he can hit a moving zebra. Bingo! If a woman is talking, and a man does not know whether she is asking for solutions or just talking. He can find out by simply asking, “Would you want me to only listen or you would want me to listen and/or offer for solutions. Either way both will be happy because each understands what is expected.
Actually, advice-giving is perceived differently by men and women. Being a woman I can see that a man could see giving advice as being caring and showing love, but a woman can interpret it as showing he’s unwilling to listen. the lesson here simple but powerful. For a man, listen with empathy, particularly if a woman is upset and, if he’s not sure what she wants him to do, ASK! For a woman “pulak”, make it clear what you expect from the man to whom you’re unburdening yourself.
PS: There’s a rainbow above us. Have a great day ahead girlfriends…
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Why we should blame each other
July 27th, 2009 by marcell, under Hate. No Comments
In relationship, there is a lot things are happening. I bet you it never always a blooming day. Definitely some of the day is a “dooming” day.
That’s the time when the problem arises whether it is related to financial, works, family or children. Believe or not, it always starts with a word “why”.
Why you do this? Why you did pay? Why you late? Why? Why? Why?
We blame each for every mistake we made.
You’ll familiar with this words;
“That’s your fault, Not my fault”.
“You are the one who start first. Not me”
“Why you accusing me? You are the one who should be blamed”
“Why you did ask me earlier? If you didn’t it, this things won’t be happen”
The list goes on and on and on.
Yes, we continue to fight and keep on nagging. It is doesn’t matter the problem is small or big (Yes, this one even worst). We never want to quit or let it go.
The worst part when the other party keep quiet or silent. Something it do work but I bet you it cause more trouble.
So, you better open your mouth and speak up.
Ask this question. What is the point we blame each other? The answer is NOTHING. Blaming each other never help to solve the problem or issue.
It makes the situation become very bad and furthermore will jeopardize your relationship.It is waste of time and there is no benefit at all.
What will you get at the end? You’ll feel angry, stress, frustrated, impatience, hatred.
I even heard a case that there is a couple willing to kill each other.
How to solve this blaming war?
The answer is laid on you. Surely you’ll said “You must be kidding”. Why should be me the one solve this messy thing?
You are the one start it and you are solve it. No one else except YOU.
Still can’t figure how to solve this problem?
Let me give you the simple rule.
- Don’t blame each blame. It is useless.
- Still feel want to blame, please refer back to rule no. 1
The important message are to stay calm and be considerate each other.
Each of us are meant for each other and we must take out our ego, arrogant, and selfishness to settle this problem.
We must remember that we are not perfect and each of us has their own weakness.
Learn to accept, learn to listen, learn to be patience, learn to be humble and lastly learn to forgive each other.
So, every time we tend to blame each other. STOP!. Remember the rule.
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Pornography?
July 24th, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Lust. 2 Comments
Not that I cannot sleep last night, I know it’s a Friday Night and for many couple it’s a wonderful night to connect with your love ones. Again, when asked friends what shall I do for the night, they said – sleep, pretend to be stupid, count the stars, go to their blogs to read and comment. The only thing that I did was of course sleep and dream.
Along those lines, I just wonder what’s the connection between attractiveness and pornography. Some said that looking at pornography itself it is almost entirely a male activity, with 99% of pornopraphic websites on the internet aimed at men, and most images of naked men are aimed at gay men. Interestingly, when a man looks at a pornographic image of a woman, he never wonders if she can cook, play a piano or strives for the world, right. And women have to understand that he is attracted solely to curves and shapes and no hint of any imagined possibility she could carry on his genes. It never occurs to him to wonder whether she might have a nice personality or not. And it also appear the same to one-night stand point of view. It’s all about LUST with no feelings. PERIOD!
Do you wonder how the past generations of men works on this when there is no internet of such. Past generations of men also liked to feast their eyes on erotic pictures of women maybe via paintings, of course for high class men that time. But for village men. How do they go about that? A few times I was told that they actually went to houses with women and do their peeking activities. They did that early in the morning or at might while the women are dressing or taking a shower in our language it is called “Intai”. Sometimes I wanted to laugh at this but that was the truth. In anyway men will try to find some avenue to do it not that it is their hobbies but it is their nature. They love to see only the best things to their eyes.
Hmmm…just got something for my birthday. Thanks Leesh. By the way, you’re the first to get me a gift. And to Mr Chang, the uncle, you’re the first to wish for me…kakaka. Ok let us continue about the subject. We always wonder what men looks for right. And the book said of course on the first sight is the good looks, shapely body, breasts and bum. But dont worry my women friends in long term partnership, men will look at personality, good looks, brains and humor. I wonder why humor is in but yes humor. Once a while, it is a must to some men and it is clearly stated that as a woman, having a sense of humor doesn’t mean you tell jokes lah. It means you laugh at his jokes daaa!
To end, “Will you still love me when I become old and grey?” she asked. “Not only will I love you,” he said. “I will write to you my Baby!”. The END.
P/S: My writings here is not to suggest that a woman should becomes as obsesses with her appearance as many women do, but rather it is important to put some effort into how she looks and to make the most of what she has. You want to always find attractive to your man. I truly believe there are no ugly women out there, only lazy ones. Ya only a lazy one, bummer ;)
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Who Lies?
July 22nd, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Hate, Lust. No Comments
I couldn’t sleep last night. Flipping thru pages of book to read. Gosh I hate it! Why lied? Who lies? Who never lies? Maybe the new man in your life swear he’s over his ex or his many girlfriends before, but you know he has a picture of her in his office desk drawer and even in his cellphone. He even still gets in touch with his old girlfriend over the phone and you just knew it. Your female instincts tell you something is not quite right, but you can’t put your finger on it. Your girlfriend didn’t see you last night as promised because she says she or her cat or her mother wasn’t feeling well. But you know she never ill, her mother is dead and she doesn’t have a cat. You’re suspicious. Are you being lied to?
I hate to tell you this but the fact that everyone lies! Most lying occurs at very first meetings where everyone wants to present themselves in the best light. Can you imagine you have to lie just to preceive good from another party. By the way, I hate to tell you this as well that most lies we tell are white lies. These are told as a way of allowing us to live togetehr without violence and aggression because often we’d prefer to hear subtle distortions of the truth than the cold hard facts. Like Micheal Jackson right, with his large nose last time will you tell him as his hard core fans about the truth – you’d prefer to hear that it looks fine, that no one notices it or that it’s the right size for your face. MJ, you RIP!
When was the last time you lied? Well, maybe you didn’t actually lie, but just let someone make a wrong assumption based on what you did or didn’t tell them, or just fibbed a little to avoid hurting their feelings. On a relationship you might hate to ask when was your last encounter on sex but you just want to find out and you know your partner will lie. Thus, sometimes no need to bring up the questions when you know the answer is just not to hurt your feelings. But others do tell the truth so that the partner understand who he or she really is and move forward.
Stephen King once said, “Only enemies speak the truth. Friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty”. Hmmm…
Maybe we lie for two reasons – to make a gain or to avoid a pain. Fortunately, most people feel a sense of guilt, remorse or unease when they lie, and most find it impossible to hide. It then becomes possible for the other person o work out whether they are being told the truth – or lied to. I hope you didn’t go to your friend and said “Hi Ila. You look awful. Why don’t you wear a bra to support those saggy breasts of yours.”
When I read the book last night, there are 4 types of lies all together – The white lie, the beneficial lie, the malicious lie and the deceptive lie. I wont go thru them but just for your information and on top of that there are 3 types of liars in my language it is called ”PENIPU”. Among those are natural liar, this person do it naturally because he has been practising it since childhood or for a very long time. The second liar is the unnatural liar. This person normally is convinced by parents or the surroundings or the religion that it is just impossible to lie. Last but not least is romantic liar and women have always been a victim for this. Hear this, the romantic liar secretly believes he’s James Bond or Daniel Craig…Gosh!. They can appear from anywhere and they thrive in internet chatroom or maybe even in the Facebook where I met some who romantically lie and anything goes.
My last paragraph would ask you all who lies the most? Most women, by the way I am a woman, will enthusiastically claim that, without doubt, men lie far more often than women. But scientific studies and experiments show however that men and women tell about the same number of lies. It’s the content of their lies that differs. To end, a woman will lie to make you feel good. A man lies to make himself look good!
PS: Keep on being a liar peeple! But what goes around comes around… Love you Baby!
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Soulmate Exists?
July 14th, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Love. No Comments
Thanks to our internet reading and this one is something that we want to share with you esp to Mei Li, Pearl, Mich, Anna, Pian, Sodom, Midut, Su, Efa, Babart, Jemay, Hida, Herry and the rest related.
How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You don’t. I’ve read plenty of books that tell you how to do it, but I don’t believe for a minute that you can place your cosmic order and your perfect ideal twin soul is going to materialize just like that at your front door. It doesn’t happen like that. You can open your heart and mind to finding a beautiful loving relationship, but chances are that using the word soulmate will almost jinx you from finding it.
Why? For many of us, when we think of a soulmate, we think of someone perfect. Someone who is gorgeous, brilliant, funny, naturally happy and kind. We think of someone who wants exactly the same things out of life that we want. We picture a meeting right out of the movies where both parties meet on the street and instantly fall madly head over heels in love. We think that there will never be any conflict beyond a quaint debate over what colors to paint the baby’s nursery. We imagine lovemaking that is so phenomenally perfect the first time that one cries from the sheer artistic beauty and telepathic oneness. All problems and challenges in our lives will suddenly melt away into faint memories because our soulmate has arrived and their presence alone is so cosmic and amazing that all else pales in comparison. Bullshit!
Change your definition of soulmate. Call to yourself someone who is open and real. Call to yourself someone who is genuine and capable of love on a real everyday level in a real everyday world where people get up and go to work and pay bills. Call to yourself someone who knows how to show and express their love without manipulation and head games. Call forth a forever kind of love. Call forth a best friend that you can sit with in your rocking chair on the front porch when you’re too old to make love anymore. Yes, a best friend could be your best friend hah. Call someone who loves you enough to kick you in the butt when you’re screwing up. Call forth someone who will shout from the rooftop when you are deserving of praise too. Call forth someone who is a loyal and faithful lover willing to learn and grow with you behind closed doors. Leave the rest to fate. I repeat leave the rest to FAITH-FAITH and FAITH.
Don’t define them. Don’t imagine the look of their face or the color of their eyes. Don’t predetermine anything else about them. Let them be exactly who they are and you be who you are. Then work on making yourself into the same type of person that I just described so that you’ll be worthy of them when they show up. The best advise I can give you if you want an amazing forever kind of love is to be healthy, happy, and independent. Quit worrying about when love will find you and get busy with living your life. Keep your heart open and your eyes open for the possible love of a lifetime, but don’t obsess over it. What is meant to be will be whether you call it to you or not. Call for help being a beautiful soul. Trust that the rest will fall into place in it’s own perfect time.
PS: To all of us, just trust that the rest will fall into place in it’s own perfect time. Amin…to us all!
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Beautiful…Nice read and keep
July 9th, 2009 by ilabuzz, under Love. No Comments
Isn’t it amazing that George Carlin – comedian of the 70’s and 80’s – could write something so very eloquent…and so very appropriate.
A Message by George Carlin:
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways ,but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete…
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.
Remember, to say, ‘I love you’ to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
